Being in love with a straight boy is a straight-up nightmare. Especially if it's been like that for years. But it's even worse when he's your best friend's brother, who has a girlfriend that's there to remind you how straight he is. That's when it b...
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Hugo's metaphor had proven to be rather useful after all.
If Kenny and Harriet were both flying off somewhere, I just had to let them both go. It was probably the hardest thing I'd ever do, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Because Kenny was already at the airport with Jamie, and Harry... well, she'd find a better guy at the airport. I'd been a pretty shitty boyfriend to her, and yes, the idea of breaking up with her made my chest hurt like it'd been stepped on by a thousand elephants, but I knew we'd never be the same again. She already had trouble trusting people people and being comfortable around them—it had taken me a long time to get her to be my girlfriend in the first place—and I'd broken that trust, so I really didn't expect us to go back to the way it was.
For a long while, Kenny stared at me in disbelief, before he finally said, "Mason, you have got to be kidding me."
"No, I'm quite serious," I replied, before reluctantly getting up from his bed. I didn't really want to leave because that meant I had to go do something about Harriet and I was still very much inclined to procrastinate when I had to do something I didn't want to do, but I had to. During this break, I'd promised myself I would do something with my life instead of sulking in my room and asking other people to do things for me like a coward. That time was over. "I should end this once and for all. You and Harry both deserve somebody better."
"Is this still you trying to 'make up' or something?"
I sighed and looked at the floor so I didn't have to look at his hurt face and end up caving in, before telling him as calmly as I could, "No, I really think this is better for all of us. I'm really sorry for all... the heartache, but you deserve better."
I clenched my fists and inhaled sharply to keep my voice from shaking, because I was telling him such utter bullshit. I didn't want him to be with somebody better at all. I wanted him to be with me. I wanted to say 'I want you' and walk up to him and kiss him right then and there, but as long as I was still in love with Harriet, it was pointless. I was so fucking sick of being caught between two people! I'd rather let them go than lose both of them for being so indecisive.
"I should go now. I have to go prepare myself for a breakup."
As I walked over to his door and reached for the handle, he jumped up and asked, "You're leaving? Just like that?"
"Yes."
"That's it?"
I nodded and pushed down the door handle, but he reached out to stop me and said, "Wait."
Instead of ignoring him and going through with my plan, I turned to face him, because I was weak, but he just stood there, looking down at me like I was about to disappear right in front of his eyes. Whatever should come after the 'wait' didn't seem to want to come out. He said nothing.
After letting out a deep sigh, I called out his name to get his attention, but it was like he wasn't even listening to me. He just shook his head to himself, and just when I was about to leave, he suddenly moved his hands up to my shoulders to hold me still in front of him, and I felt my stomach doing a little flip.
