Who Are You Now?

Who Are You Now? Chapter 5

            Dinner was very, very awkward. So awkward, in fact, that everyone got up to use the bathroom at least once, just to get a break from it. There were so many topics that were off-limits: almost everything about me, and almost everything about Zane. My father couldn’t really talk about his life without it getting weird, and Larry didn’t seem like a very talkative guy. Hence, it was Alexa’s time to shine. She told us about everything and anything that was going on in her life. Starting at the beginnings of her mornings and ending in her last second awake before she fell asleep at night. We got to hear her every word, thought, and movement. That is, everything that did not have to do with me. It was funny how I was not mentioned in any one sentence she spoke of. It didn’t help my mood.

            When we all finished eating our spaghetti and meatballs there was a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. It tasted delicious!

            “Zane made the cake,” Larry added after everyone had finished eating it and was sitting in silence.

            I glanced at Zane. He raised his eyebrows and winked at me.

            “I added a special ingredient, if you know what I mean,” he smirked. I believed him, who could put it past a kid like him to put drugs in a cake. Good thing he fed it to Alexa…

            “Zane!” Larry growled, smacking him on the arm.  “That’s not even funny!”

            Zane leaned away from his angry father, laughing. “I was talking about love!” he yelled. I couldn’t help but crack a smile. Alexa gave us all a confused look, not quite understanding what Zane’s comment was about. My father glared at Zane for a split second before he switched his focus to me. He obviously didn’t like the fact that I thought a joke about doing drugs was funny. He needed to calm down; it was a joke for God sakes.

            “Well, I think we should be going,” my dad said in a low voice. He stood up from the table abruptly and looked at me. He jerked his head toward the door. I stood up slowly, not sure if I wanted to leave the safety of this house. My dad had the “I’m going to yell at you” look on his face.

            “Thank you for the lovely dinner,” I said to Larry, almost sarcastically. I glanced at Zane, “And thanks for the cake. See you tomorrow!” I walked out of the kitchen very slowly compared to Alexa, who had bolted out at the first chance she had gotten. By the time I got out the door and it was shut, the fire in my father’s eyes had diminished a little.

            “You do know that drugs will not be tolerated here, right?” he said quietly. “Maybe hanging out with Zane isn’t such a good idea after all. He’s a good kid, but his sense of morals might be a little off.”

            “Dad, I’m not doing drugs and I’m not going to do them,”—I hoped—“and I really am not someone that can judge another person on morals.” I didn’t want to argue with my dad, and I knew that he was just trying to protect me, but honestly it was too late for it.

            “But I can. So maybe you really should cancel on him. His father is great, but Zane… he has some issues.”

            “I’m 18, Dad, you can’t really tell me who to hang out with anymore. And maybe having a friend with his own issues will help me with my own,” by the time I finished my sentence it was only a whisper. It was like I had an epiphany. Even if we never talked about our pasts, maybe hanging out with someone as broken as I was could actually help me put myself back together. It was worth a try at least.

            “Maybe you’re right,” my dad said after a few long seconds of silence. He nodded at me and opened the back door, stepping into the house. I followed after him and paused just inside the door. Alexa was putting a DVD in and my father was settling in on the couch. I didn’t really want to spend any more quality time with them right then, so I quietly sneaked back upstairs to my room.