I guess people were right when they told me that the one you love the most, will hurt you the most.
And I gave her the chance to broke my heart for the nth time
5 more days, Chae. 5 more days.
Date started: July 11, 2018
Date ended: August 11, 2018
"Anyone who loves in the expectation of being loved in return is wasting their time."
-Paulo Coelho
"What do you wanna do today, Chaeng?" Lisa asked. Wiggling her eyebrows. Gosh, this woman!
I badly wanted to say "Nothing, can I just stare at you for a day? Cause hell I can do that."
But I know If I do, it will be over for us, for our friendship so I casually said..
"Naaah. I'm too lazy to move. Oh wait, I have tons of book to read. Mind if you hand me that book beside you, The subtle art of not giving a fuck?"
"Heck no! Can you step outside? Gosh! You've been prisoning yourself here for days."
Yes. I've been prisoning myself here for God knows how long Why?
●FLASHBACK●
One of the interviewers asked us who among in our group members will we date if given a chance?
That's a simple question. Even if you asked me a thousand times, I will always choose Lisa. I will always choose her.
but this is not the right situation to confess what I feel about her.
Worst, I don't want her to hate me. I'm afraid that if I do, she'll stay away from me. I don't want that😔
I was so busy minding my thoughts when I heard Lisa spoke. She chose Jennie Unnie. Not gonna lie that hurts but I expected it, she's always been vocal about her feelings towards Jennie Unnie. I was so stupid to think that you'll choose me because I'm your bestfriend right?
"Jennie Unnie. She's sexy"
It kept on replaying on my mind like a broken record. Why? Am I not sexy enough for you? Am I not beautiful like her?
But then looking at Jennie Unnie. I really understand why I don't stand a chance. I understand why you are head over heels for her.
I mean look at her. She's perfect. Girlfriend material. Beautiful is an understatement and yep that gummy smile, who wouldn't fall for that?
But I'm not gay for her. I'm gay for Lisa.
It was Jisoo Unnie's turn and she chose me .💙
She knew about my feelings for Lisa. Of all the people, she's the one who knows all my secrets. I'm glad I have her.
I mouthed "Thank you" to her and smiled.
Another one during our fansign event, she put her arms around Jennie's neck and kissed her cheeks in front of me. After that, she hugged the two unnies while fans were taking pictures of us and I was there looking stupid.
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I mean, how about me?
"Hey Chaeng! Are you listening?" Lisa snapped her fingers on my face.
"Uhm. What is it? I'm sorry I'm zoning out."
"I said are you okay?" She said. Looking worried.
"It's nothing Lisa. You don't have to worry about me. I'm completely fine." I smiled and squeezed her hand.
I was taken aback when she move closer and cupped my face. I blushed hoping she didn't notice.
"Lie. You can't fool me, Rosie. Have you forgotten that I'm your bestfriend and I happen to memorize everything about you."
Rosie. sounds heaven when she calls me by that name.
"I don't know. I just feel off these past few days. I'm sorry if I made you worried". I said looking down.
You lifted up my chin and kissed my forehead. It felt so good. So good that it also lifted up my mood.
"It's okay. Come with me, please?" Lisa said. Pleading me with her big brown eyes. I can't help but my smile
