I guess people were right when they told me that the one you love the most, will hurt you the most.
And I gave her the chance to broke my heart for the nth time
5 more days, Chae. 5 more days.
Date started: July 11, 2018
Date ended: August 11, 2018
"Sometimes the only reason why you won't let go of what's making you sad is because it was the only thing that made you happy."
Our performance was a success. We're currently inside the car and you're comfortably sitting beside her, her head on your shoulder.
That's the picture that I always imagine between you and me. My eyes closed, my head laying on your shoulder, secretly sniffing your smell, and holding hands. Sweet, isn't it?
I remember before, you always love to sit beside me. Talking about love, life and anything under the sun but in just a blink of an eye suddenly, everything is all about her. You set me aside because you know I will always be there for you. Well, I can't argue with that.
"Jennie, look at this video, this is so funny"
"What's that? Is that the video of our performance a while ago?"
"Yes it is. Look at Chaeng's expression, she's a little lost. Hahaha." I took a peek at the video and yeah, that's the scenario that broke my heart an hour ago.
We're singing stay and it was Lisa's part. I reached out my arm to her but she just looked at it and move towards Jennie. You wrapped your arms around her shoulder. I don't know what to do at that time, I had mixed emotions; One, I felt embarassed because I'm pretty sure many people saw it. Two, I felt saddened with the thought that you chose her over me. What's new right? I should get used to it.
"I don't think that's funny, Lisa" Jennie said straight-faced?
"I don't think so too." Jisoo Unnie second the motion.
"It's fine. I'm used to it. She always treat me like a joke." I said.
Dead air filled the atmosphere but you broke the silence.
"I'm sorry, Chaeng. I didn't intend to offend you."
I didn't answer but I felt my eyes welled up. Before someone can see I wiped the 1st wave of my tears.
"Come lay your head here" Jisoo Unnie offered. I rest my head on her lap and she's gently stroking my hair. somehow it made me feel a lot better than I was.
I woke up with Unnie's tap.
"I don't have the heart to wake you up but I have no choice. You'll catch a cold here."
"Thanks Unnie. Where are they?" I asked her while scratching my eyes
"They're already inside. I told them that we'll follow."
We went inside and I saw you handing out the toy that you got her yesterday.
"That was a real pain in the ass to get. I hope you liked it."
"I loved it! Isn't it weird that this is my favorite character from toy story? Thank you, Lisa." Jennie kissed her cheek
"Jisoo Unnie, can you take us a pic?"
"I'm not a photographer. Don't ask me." Jisoo said and looked at me. I nodded to her.
"Give me the camera. I'll take the pic." I said straightforward and Jisoo gaped her eyes on me.
1,2,3. Smile and there goes my heart again. Shattered.
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