Can you fix my heart? 💙ChaeLisa💜

Thirty- Two

"The moment you change your perception is the moment you rewrite the chemistry of your body."

I woke up feeling dizzy, my whole body felt cold, my hands and knees were trembling and my heart was beating so fast. I felt like I'm going to faint, I stood up and went to my bathroom. I stayed there to calm myself but nothing's happening, I sat on the edge of my bed and did my breathing exercises, it didn't really help. I can't tame my thoughts until I let it consume me.  I can't take it anymore, I felt like I'm going to die any minute.

"Maaaa!! Help meee! I'm having a major panic attack!" I waited for a minute but she didn't answer. I stood up and went outside my room.

"Maaa! Where are you! Please help me!" Everything seems to be blurry, I sat down on the floor and wept. Of all people why does it have to be me? Can I just live a happy normal life? These attacks were sucking out of my life, it made me so dysfunctional.

I felt a pair of arms stood me up and hugged me. She's rubbing my back as if telling me that "everything will be fine. it will go away". I know that scent. I can't go wrong.

"L-lisa, w-hy are you here?"

"Don't talk. Your heart's beating fast. let it out. Cry." I hugged her so tight and broke down in tears. She knows that when I'm having episodes of panic attack, I don't want people to talk to me and crying really helps to make it go away.

"You still have it." She said and I can sense that she's in tears too. I just nod. I felt her hug tightened as if she doesn't want to let me go. I suddenly felt my body slowly relaxing.

"Stay strong for me baby." With that, she kissed my forehead and carried me like a bride. She laid me down on my bed. Baby, I missed her calling me that.

Lisa checked my pulse rate and I can feel that my heart beat is going back to normal.

"Thank God. I was sleeping when I heard you screamed and it scared the hell out of me" I can see fear in her eyes.

"Thank you, Lisa." I hold her hand, she intertwined our fingers.

"It's just 5 in the morning, Rosie. You should go back to sleep. If you don't want me here, just call me, I'm staying at the guest room" she was about to walk outside when I held her hand.

"Don't go" it was as if her cue that she's been waiting to hear. I saw her eyes glistened.

"I really don't want to leave you. Not with your current state. I just don't want you to think that I'm taking advantage of this situation."

"No more talking. I might change my mind." I saw panic in her eyes. I turned at the other side of my bed and closed my eyes. I always feel tired every after these attacks.

"No. I'll stay here even if you don't want me to. I'll stay even on your dark days. I'll walk with you. I won't let you suffer alone. You got me" I felt her lie down beside me and hugged me. 2 years had passed and I can't deny the fact that she still makes me feel secured between her arms. I badly missed her hug and it felt so good now that she's back.

"Can I just hug you? Just pretend that it's not me until you feel better. Sleep well, my Rosie. I'll still be here when you wake up" And I drifted off to sleep.

10 am

I woke up and I saw the other side of bed, empty. Was that a dream? She told me she won't leave me😔 she lied. I got up and went downstairs.

"Open your mouth. Here's the chuchu traiiiin."

It is indeed a good morning. I saw Lianne sitting on Lisa's lap while the latter is feeding her. Picture perfect.