Can you fix my heart? 💙ChaeLisa💜

Thirty😔

"You're allowed to feel messed up inside out, it doesn't mean you're defective-it just means that you're human."

I can't help but cry when I opened the storage room. It is filled with blue balloons, there were hanging pictures of me and Lisa, it feels nostalgic. I further scanned the room and I saw a guitar that I've been wanting to buy, a giant bear, a wall full of sticky notes that enumerates all the things she loves about me, a giant sky blue box, when I opened it, there's one purple heart balloon that popped out and it says "Happy 26th Birthday, Rosie. I love you." 26th? Which means it was recent, I just turned 26 last month. I'm so puzzled, how did it all get in here?

I let my eyes wandered more and I saw a pile of letters. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I think it's nearly a thousand letters. I sat down and randomly selected it.

February 11, 2018

Mrs. Manoban,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, BABYYY! I hope you don't mind me singing here but I'll sing to you when you get back home. For the past few months, I know you've been struggling, I can see your efforts and your love for me. I was so stupid for setting my eyes on someone who doesn't even come close to you. Have I ever told you that I'm such a lucky bastard for having you? In case you're not aware, I'm telling you that you are the best thing that happened to me . I promised myself before that I will take care of you and I'm sorry if I made you feel neglected. I promise I won't let it happen again. I wanted to make it up to you, Rosie because I really see myself growing old with you. I wanted you to forget the bad memoried that I gave. I hope it's not too late to start over, let's make lot of good memories, baby? I love you💙

-Lisa💜

So she was planning on surprising me on that day but unfortunately it was the worst birthday that I ever had. I was about to put back the letter when something dropped on the floor. I picked it up opened it and saw that it was our plane ticket to Thailand. She knew how much I wanted to go there but shit happens and it did us dirty. I wanted to make memories with her too.

August 13, 2018

This is for the girl that I fell in love with. You we're my best friend and I never thought the day would come that you would walk away from me.
I should have been a better person before I met you but I didn't, at that stage of my life. I was blind. You taught me real love and I showed you what

Remember how I asked you so many times "why do you love me?" and you would always give me the most wonderful reasons. If I had not been so blind back then I would have told you before it was too late, how much you meant to me and how amazing you are as a person.

I should have made some changes to make myself better at the time. After all, it was for my benefit that I should have done them.

I dream about you a lot, and I always wake up thinking and wondering how life would've been for us if I didn't mess things up. I pray that someday you may forgive me, and maybe reach out to me but I know this is wishful thinking and you're still hurting.

I'm sorry that I let you down, I know I hurt you, and it has been so painful for me to know that I did. I regret everything because I lost you but I'm still hoping that if you ever have a change of heart, I would be a better person to you so that you could be proud to call me your Hubbywifey.

Just know that there's one person who's loving you miles away and that is me😉

-Lisa💜