Romeo And Julian (Part Three)

Chapter Twelve

Julian is getting distant again. He went to his treatment and came back without a complaining at all, and that just isn't like him.

"How're you feeling?" I asked, gently rubbing his back as he laid on me.

"Fine." He muttered.

I looked down at the boy. "Run a marathon fine or dear god, please kill me now kinda fine? There's a bit of a difference."

"I couldn't run a marathon even at my max, Romeo." Julian reminded.

"As far as I can tell, your max is just when you look good. Which is always."

"You're a doofus..."

And then it was quiet again. Not the comfortable quiet of clinging to someone you love or enjoying their company, but the deftining silence that crushes you slowly as it sucks all the air away.

"Julian."

"Yes, Romeo?"

"..."

"What's up?"

"Please don't go."

Why did you say that?! I don't know why, it just came to me!!! You can't say that!!! Well it's too freaking late now, isn't it?! Damn it!!!

"I can't promise that I won't..."

People talk about rock bottom or when something awful repeats in your head over and over again pretty often. They don't do it justice.

I can't promise that I won't...

They really don't explain that those words don't just repeat. They echo, they burn, they keep you up at night, and they never leave. They never leave.

I can't promise that I won't...

I am such an idiot for saying anything at all. I am such a fool for all the stupid stupid things that I have done. I am so... I am so sorry that I couldn't inspire you to survive. That I couldn't save you...

I can't promise that I won't...

"Julian..." His mom said as she walking into the room. "Your appointment is all set. The final date is in place."

"Thanks mom." The boy said, muttering into my chest.

She looked at her son with concern. Sadness. Fear. Maybe even lose. "You could bring Romeo with you if that would help."

Julian looked up at me, his eyes looking so warm and inviting before, now dead and cold, yet still beautiful.

"How are you with a scalpel?" He asked me.

I didn't know what to say. Nobody was ready for this. Nobody was ready for the last ditch effort. Dangerous, costly, and may not even work. But it was all that was left.

"I cut open a frog in biology two years ago." I told him, shrugging. "I'd say I'm a professional by now."

Julian turned back to his mom. "You heard the man. He will be the head surgeon. We'll be bringing him."

That brought a small smile to her face. A sad one, but the first I've seen in weeks. It's almost winter break at this point. Neither of us went to the big homecoming dance. I was crowned king apparently.

I got Julian to invite some friends over since nobody really wanted to go to the dance. Henry and Sasha were both there as well as Warren and Grace. It was great as long as my cousin kept her mouth shut.

Thanksgiving went by quickly. Julian and his mom came to my house for it since they didn't have a lot of family. Actually, that's when I came out to everyone...
Somehow, the only complaint was from Grandma Hope, and that was just her saying that Julian could do better (They really got along well).

Now, it's getting colder and snow is falling. Christmas lights are everywhere, and if you don't see an inflatable snowman around, it means you left town. It is truly winter.

"Do you think they'll let me keep my beanie on?" Julian asked, slightly tugging his knit hat onto his head more. "I hope so..."

"Don't worry." I told him gently. "They wouldn't let your head get cold."

"They better not, or I'm gonna bite someone." The small boy threatened.

He still had fight in him, even after everything. That's good.

"You could bite me." I whispered in his ear, making his shiver against me. "I mean, if you want to."

Julian stood up quickly, dragging me behind him. "Mom, we're going upstairs for awhile." He called out.

"Please just..." His mom started, then sighed. "Screw it, I don't care what happens up there anymore. You two don't listen anyways."

"Thanks mom, love ya." The small boy said as we got to the top of the stairs.

As the door closed, we practically fell on the bed, Julian's shirt being thrown to the floor within moments.

"You're so perfect." I whispered against his neck as I bit down on it.

The soft moans that Julian let out just reinforced my statement. "You shouldn't lie right to someone's face." He said, holding onto my hair.

A smirk formed on my lips. "I'm not. You're beautiful, and strong, and sexy as all Hell."

"Oh am I?" Julian asked, pulling himself closer to me. "Continue, good sir."

"You're handsome." I said as I placed a kiss on his neck. "And smart." Another on his jaw. "And brave." The corner of his lips. "And you're such a smartass."

"That last one is very important." He said as our lips softly touched. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, there is one more thing."

"And that is?"

"You're all mine." I told the boy. "And I'm all yours."

That simple assurance that I was here for him and that I cared for him made Julian smile so brightly it was as if he was never sick. The way he could light up a room at times was just a testament as to why this procedure needed to work. Why this was our last shot.

It needed to work so that I could tell Julian just how much I loved him.