Romeo And Julian (Part Three)

Chapter Thirteen

My name is Julian Athens. I am struggling to organize my thoughts and cope with everything that's going on (Which is a lot).

I don't have a high survival chance at this point. I'm most likely going to die soon. Maybe on the operating table, maybe on the way home, maybe in a few months. But I'll still die.

I've been talking with Henry and Sasha about it, and I've come to the conclusion that I have two choices for if... If I don't make it. These choices are mostly for Romeo's sake.

I could A; tell him everything that I've been feeling and make sure he knows how much he means to me. Tell him that... Tell him that I... L word him.

Or, we have B; which is... To tell him that I hate him. I resent him and the pity he has for me. Tell him that I don't believe that he ever cared for me. Tell him that he shouldn't even come to the funeral.

Sasha thinks I'm a dumbass for even considering B. Henry didn't say what he thought, but he didn't need to. He was the only person I didn't push away originally when I found out, and he's still by my side no matter what I choose. He supports B as a logical way to make things easier for Romeo. Let him disconnect some emotional ties before I go.

Now, it's up to me to make the final choice. Honesty that will deepen attachment and make things harder, or lies that will hurt and possibly scar but assist in moving on. It truly is fun being me, trying to decide how to crush the heart of my boyfriend.

"You're scowling." Romeo said as we walked into school. "What are you thinking about?"

"Math." I said casually, not looking up.

"Yeah right, you don't even think when you're in math, you're on autopilot." He laughed, then tilted his head towards me. "What's up? You can tell me."

Haha, yeah, like I'm gonna tell you that I'm planning something awful no matter what I end up doing. "I'm concerned about my grades while I'm in recovery."

Romeo rolled his eyes. "Don't worry about that, we can always get your papers together. Plus, isn't that going to be mostly during winter break?"

Hmm... Winter break is coming up. "Guess I didn't think about that..." I added with a nervous laugh.

"You're too focused on the negative." He said, gently pulling me into his side.

People don't really stare anymore, so we're pretty open about everything. Just another high school couple. Being way too affectionate in public and acting like idiots.

Something people did notice was that I didn't go to gym class anymore. I went to the nurse often and was more pale than usual. Humans can be oblivious, but anyone can tell when there's something seriously wrong happening. Took them long enough.

"You're scowling to yourself." A pretty blonde told me as I sat in class.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "So I've heard."

"Is it something about Romeo?" Hannah asked.

"Yea~ I mean no~ or I guess... Kinda?"

"You're worried that the relationship isn't gonna work?" She asked. "Because don't, that guy is crazy for you."

"That's what I'm worried about..."

Something seemed to click after I said that, Hannah's eyes widening with a mix of shock and almost fear.

"You can't break up with him." She whispered.

My gaze lowered even further to the floor. "I can do whatever I want..."

"But you don't want this. I can tell."

"Why do you even care?" I asked, turning to look her in the eye.

"Because I believe in love, and I believe that everyone should have their chance to love." Hannah said quietly. "Romeo needed you to let him love, and he needs to you accept that love. You can't leave now."

You can't leave now.

Lady, you have no idea how much I wish that was true.

"I get it... It was just a thought." I mumbled. "Thank you. I've made up my mind now."

The blonde smiled at me. "Of course. Please, if you need to talk, just go ahead and call me. Get everything off your chest."

"You're seeming more like a friend and less like a gossip every time I see you." I laughed.

Hannah gave me a look of mock insult. "Why would you ever think me a gossip?! I just love gay shit."

"Weirdo."

The day kept going on, a little better now that I don't have that stupid question in my head. Now I know what I'm doing next.

Gym passed of course, I sat and read my books. Math was fine. History, nothing new (Get it?). Chemistry, someone lit the classroom on fire, so that was short lived. Temporary evacuation, but classes started back up soon.

The first thing I did as the final bell rang was run out of the room and sprint out towards Romeo's class. He was walking down the hall talking to Chris, not even seeing me until I tackled him in a tight hug.

"You alright, Julian?" He asked. "Is everything ok, baby?"

"Yup." I quietly said, leaning my face against his strong chest. "I'm ok. Just wanted to see you."

Romeo smiled as his arms wrapped around me, and I took that moment to drink in his presence and keep it in my mind. I used this moment to steel myself for what happens next.