His Weakness, Her Liberation

Thanksgiving

"Last night was amazing." She sounded relaxed and calm, the opposite of how she was last night.

Her hands felt so natural as she wrapped them around me from behind in my bed. I kissed one of them as it made its way up my chest.

"You were so different last night, like you were angry about something Mikey."

That named snapped me back to reality. It was Alexandra in my bed, not Janeé.

I continued drinking last night after Janeé rejected me in the club. I was so pissed and drunk that I forgot Alexandra accompanied me to Atlanta for the weekend. I had to reshoot a scene for the movie and figured I'd just come down and get it out the way since I had some free time on my hands. I ran into an old friend and he invited me out. Alexandra planned to come too but she started feeling sick after dinner and decided to stay home. I was thankful she did because things could have gone sideways real quick if she had come. I never imagined I'd run into Janeé because she always said she wasn't the club type. I also didn't expect it to be her birthday. I would have liked to do something nice for her if she had just told me. I wish she'd just let me in enough to see if we could be something.

Alexandra called me repeatedly last night because it was almost 3 a.m. and I hadn't made it back to my place. When I finally got there, she was waiting for me. She yelled about how inconsiderate I was to be out so late, knowing she wasn't feeling well. I knew the real reason she was upset though. There was still a disconnect between us. I hadn't said the "L" word to her since that first time, but she said it to me repeatedly. I really fucked up with that.

"You tell me you love me, but nothing has changed! We haven't had sex and I feel like you don't even want me around anymore. Why did you bring me here?" 

Her words cut last night because they were mostly true. I felt like our relationship had changed because she was trying too hard to prove she would be a good girlfriend, and in the process I felt like I'd lost my best friend. The argument we had was too much like one a couple would have and we were not a couple. I brought her to Atlanta to try and keep me from reaching out to Janeé. She wanted to keep things professional and I respected her enough to try.

"I'm sorry Alex, I don't know what's up with me." I felt terrible for concealing what was really going on. "I'm promise, it's not you, just please be patient with me and we'll get through this rough patch."

Tears streamed down her face and for the second time tonight, I was wiping away the tears of a woman I cared for.

I was angry at myself for letting this happen and I was mad at Janeé for not being real with me tonight. There was a reason for her tears and unlike Alexandra, I had no clue what hers were for.

I was mad at her, but having Janeé near me tonight, saying those things to her and kissing her had me ready to fuck the nearest thing in sight. Alexandra was a beautiful woman and the way she was yelling at me made me want to bend her over on the counter she was leaning on. So I did. She yelped out in pleasure as I rammed into her petite frame. I wanted it to be quick so I played with her clit to get her to come faster. We soon both reached our climax and I kissed her on the forehead, genuinely  hoping she felt better.
We spent a few more days in Atlanta and I didn't hear from Janeé the rest of our brief visit. I was unsure about my feelings for her, but Alexandra deserved better from me, so I decided I would take her around the city and play tourist. I felt the tension between us easing and she was starting feel like my best friend again. If I had know giving her some ack right would have this outcome, I would have done it weeks ago.

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Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday because It was all about family and my family was so important to me. Alex had spent the last few Thanksgivings with me because her family was overseas and she usually visited them for Christmas. We woke up Thanksgiving morning together in my bed in LA after a night of sex. My family didn't know about this aspect of our relationship and I wanted to keep it that way until I figured out this Alex and Janeé thing. The Jordan men usually grilled steaks and sausages outside, while the women cooked the traditional Thanksgiving items inside. On more than one occasion, I found myself watching Alexandra move about the kitchen with my mother and sister thinking how comfortable she looked and how I could be messing things up with her by entertaining thoughts of something with Janeé.

"She looks happy," my father said patting me on the back.

I looked down in shame, trying to hide my true feelings from my dad. "Yea, yea she does, huh?" I said with a half-hearted smile.

"Whats wrong son? Unsure where you stand in your feelings with her?"

How could he know?, I thought.

"Well I know she's crazy about you," my mother said before I could answer my dad's questions. Mom grabbed the steaks we'd just finished grilling and headed back inside as quietly as she came out.

Mom was right. She really loved me and regardless of what was up with Janeé, at least I knew where Alexandra stood with me. I was clear on how she felt and she wasn't too afraid to show it.

I wasn't ready to be in a relationship yet, but I was going to try and throw myself into our friendship to see if she was who I really wanted to be with. I felt like I owed her that.