All Grown Up (Sequel To WDE)

26.

I ran with Adam into the night, still haunted by his brothers' words. He led the way through the garden into the city. I can hear people chasing after us. I used to run track in high school, so I kicked my speed in high gear. Adam soon lagged behind me, but he kept up with me enough to not be left. I make sharp turns through alleys, markets, stores, and the streets until I reach the desert. I notice Adam keeled over with his hand on his chest. I head back but he waves me off. "I'm coming, " he wheezes at me.

I run into the night, tripping over dunes. He soon joins me, leading me to a cave that leads underground. I follow suit, shimmying to keep up. He helps me down and we press ourselves into the corner. I try to catch my breath and Adam listens out.

I look over at Adam, trying to make peace with what happened. "A?"

"Yeah?" He says without looking at me.

"So - you're bleeding. Your leg, that is."

"Hm?" He looks down at his calf. "I cut it as we were running through the markets. I'm fine." He limps to sit beside me.

"Look, about that kiss. That was a hell of a distraction."

"Zeus .. it wasn't a distraction. I meant every word I said. I'm sorry if I offended you. I know it was wrong of me to do that, but it was so liberating," he turns to me. "I've never told anyone how I felt about my sexuality. I never came out the closet. I know everyone would judge me, I mean, look at my brothers. They knew; or at least, had an idea I was gay. When we kidnapped you, I was like 'Maybe I'd finally find a friend'. It's funny, you're my only friend, Zeus. Maybe I've mistaken your friendship for affection, but I can't fight this feeling anymore. I'm in love with you Zeus. I know you don't feel the same way ... I just -"

I wave him off. "It's fine, Adam."

He looks up at me eagerly. "Really?"

I laugh. "Don't get too excited."

He smiles at me. "Thank you, Zeus."

"For what?"

"For letting me be who I am, unapologetically."

"Thanks for listening to me when no one else will."

He nods. "You know, when I met you ... I knew I had to protect you. Something about you told me to keep my brothers from you. I'm so sorry, I tried so hard to get them to cut this off -"

I hug him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Adam. For everything."

"When I saw you with Bambi, I just thought you ... I don't know. I guess you were getting closer to her than me. I finally felt your pain."

"Adam. You're still an amazing friend and no chick could replace that. You've been so nice to me here. Besides, don't worry about Bambi. She won't marry me regardless."

He snorts, then tries to hide his mouth. "I would."

"Yeah."

"Zeus?"

"What's up?"

"You're so calm about this . Why ? It doesn't bother you ?"

"I'm not homophobic, if that's what you're asking. I'm okay with it, Adam. As long as you can be yourself and it makes you happy, then I'm happy. In fact .... it reminds me of my dad's relationship."

"Yeah, in a one sided way."

"Hmm."

"I'm so grateful for you, Z." He hugs me. I hug my knees while he wraps his arms in mine. Not my ideal way of a relationship, but I'll take it. Somebody that's actually happy to be with me? A miracle. He looks up at me. "If you die tonight, I wanna go too. Life's not worth living without your best friend. Your only friend."

I look at him. "Don't do that. You have your whole life to live."

"Really? Dude, I'm a gay Muslim living in the Middle East. You think I got a choice?"

"Still. You have so many great qualities man. Your family will forgive you. "

"No they won't."

"They will."

"They'll love you no matter what. Take it from me, I know first hand. They'll always be there for you. Even when you don't want them."

He yawns. He snuggles next to me. "if you say so. I'm just glad I can finally be myself."

"Adam?"

"Hm?" He answers sleepily. I look around the dark cave. I gather the sand in my hand, plunging my feet into the cool earth.

"Maybe there's a reason no girl has ever liked me. Or that you never had a friend."

"Huh?"

"I can't stay here forever. I can't hide. I know how it feels to let a moment pass you by, so I won't let this one go. I don't know exactly how I feel about this , or you. You've made this a hell of a ride."

"Ze-"

I lift his chin and kiss his lips softly. It shocks both of us, but hell. A nigga has been through it and being with Adam made me feel safe and with purpose. I don't think I'm gay, but I'm secure enough with myself to let him know how I feel. I've never felt like this before with anybody else. I deepen the kiss then break it. "Go to sleep."

I lean back and he snuggles on my chest. I don't think there will ever be another person in my life like this. Don't judge me. Adam has been there for me. I don't want to lead him on either. I think we feel the same way, yet were denying the inevitable.