All Grown Up (Sequel To WDE)

21.

Ares Pov

I toss and turn in the night. I'm haunted by my past and losing my first born. Never mind any "ifs" in question. Losing Zeus because of what I've done is the hardest thing I've ever been through. I wish that on no one, not even my enemy.

"Daddy, daddy! Look!" Zeus excitedly shows me his drawing. He drew us holding hands and walking through some sort of palace.

"What's this?" I ask.

"It's us, Dad!" He takes the paper and scrunches his eyebrows. "Oh, wait!" He runs to the crayon box and grabs a yellow crayon. He scribbles across the paper. He looks at the paper, smiles, and gets up from his spot on the floor. "Now!"

I take the paper back and notice he drew crowns on our heads. "Is this us?"

"Yeah! We both kings! See? You like it?"

I look down into my six year old's eyes. His big brown eyes are swelled with pride. I rub the colored wax on the paper and feel where he pressed down hard on the paper to draw us. He put a lot of effort into this drawing. "I love it."

"Really? " he beams at me.

"Yeah," I smile down at him. And I'm telling the truth. I love it because he usually scribbles everywhere, drawing nothing in particular. However, today he drew himself and his father as black kings. Hand in hand.

"I'll hang it on the fridge."

He scoots a chair to the fridge and I help him step up. I bring him tape and he struggles to keep it from sticking together, but manages to tape it up. I help him down. "Wanna watch Lion King?"

He runs to the living room roaring. I laugh and grab him a CapriSun. I pop him popcorn as he begins to whine. "Daaadddd! Hurry up! It's starting!"

I smile and bring the popcorn. He scrambles to get a few kernels before plopping down on a pillow on the floor. We built a fort earlier, and Adonis is going to be mad we trashed the house. I toss a kernel into my mouth.

After the scene of Mufasa dying, Zeus looks back up at me.

"Dad?"

"Yeah? "

"Promise me you won't be like that. "

"Like what?"

"Leaving me."

I let out a nervous laugh and he pauses the movie. "Dad."

"Zeus ..."

He jumps on the couch. "Promise me you'll never leave me." He sits close me on his knees.

"I can't promise you that. "

"I don't want you to go. I don't want you to leave me."

I look away. "Zeus, man ..."

"I'm tiring of people leaving me. Don't die, Daddy. Okay? It'll just be us. Together, right? Forever? I love you. Promise? "

I blink away some tears. "Promise. "

"Pinky swear? " he throws out his tiny finger. I take it in my larger one.

He smiles and kisses my cheek. He presses play and draws as he watched TV.

I made a promise. I've failed him. I've failed my son.

I remember having him on my shoulders everywhere we went. I remember teaching him to tie his shoes, ride a bike, drive, shave ... And now? He could be near his deathbed because of a stupid mistake over eighteen years ago. I didn't mean to kill the kidnappers' father, but it was an order. I did what I had to do.

I wipe tears from my eyes. I wanted so desperately to be a part of his life then the twins came and I guess I forgot about Zeus. He's so grown now. He never tells me anything. He's so secretive and it makes me wonder what I've done so wrong for him to shut me out.

I gaze down at Adonis' beautiful body sleeping soundly beside me. I sigh. Did I choose my soul mate over my son? He can't possibly shut me out because I spread my love to the family? I'm madly in love with Adonis. I've always been. I love the twins, but what have I done? If I would've tried just a little harder, Zeus wouldn't have ran back in the house or I wouldn't have blacked out.

I rub my forehead.

"Promise me you'll never leave me."

I tried Zeus.

"You're not even my real mother! Shut your ass up! Always ass kissing. Dad...Pops...Ares. You don't give a shit about me. You've never been at my games, you don't know my favorite color, you don't know what I'm good at, you've never seen me play, it's like you don't know a thing about me past four years old! You obviously don't know what I like! Look around. You know what, you won't have to worry about me when I'm gone. I'm out. I could never have my cake and eat it too. You don't even bother with me and you guys are too stupid to understand why I'm hurting. In your eyes I'm ungrateful, but you don't take the time to realize I could have taken my own life by now. I'm done, but it's not like you care ... You're just like my real mother. Whoever the fuck she is. Party's over. Everybody get the fuck out."

I guess the first cut is always the deepest. I caused him to shut me out. His mother did too. He was hurting so bad, but I never picked up on it. Does that make me a bad parent? He never wanted to talk and he brushed me off since the twins started growing up. I shed a few tears. How could I save Adonis, but not my own flesh and blood?

"Promise?"

Author's Note: I'm sorry about not updating like that, but since it is officially Pride Month, I will update more dealing with Zeus and Adam. I'll possibly finish this book this summer. Please let me know your thoughts. Is Zeus wrong? Is Ares wrong? How do you feel about Adam? Please let me know in the comments 💙