once again | markhyuck

ꫂ seventeen

"I'm tired," Donghyuck started, "Of us."

These past days have been absolute hell. Aside from giving extra time and effort in catching up with his lessons, Donghyuck would oftentimes guilt himself about the relationship he has with his boyfriend. There was nothing wrong and that was the problem. He blames it on how fully aware he is about his future. It was a blessing and at the same time a curse.

It was all fun and games, already knowing what's going to happen to the people around him, but it became a quick distraction for him. Yes, he did plan it from the start to change everything. To change his fate. To change his future. Donghyuck was confident to do so, he had planned to do so, it was his goal to do so.

Until Mark just had to come begging for him.

It would be a lie to say that he stopped thinking about it. Every chance he gets, he would steal glances whenever he would spot him in the crowded hallways. He'd come up with an alibi just to get in line together with him at the cafeteria. He would help his teachers bring their things in order to pass by Mark's room and see him even for just a short while.

Arguing and not talking to each other was one thing.

Being on good terms and knowing that they still love each other, but not getting the chance to even be together? That's a full torture that Donghyuck is going through right now.

This is making him go crazy and it hurts him to know that this is all happening while Lucas is genuinely loving him.

"We rarely see each other lately and this is what you will tell me?" Confused, dumbfounded, and in pain. Those were what Lucas could explain about this situation.

"Lucas, I really can't do it anymore." Everything was overwhelming for Donghyuck.

And the fact that he's the one that's going to end things with Lucas in the original timeline. They broke up because Donghyuck was a jealous person. He was stubborn and didn't want to talk things out. His detachment issues were his solution to every problem he had. He was immature and stupid. One minor inconvenience and he would feel like a big burden already, blaming himself always which would cause another problem in their relationship. It was all because of how he couldn't handle emotions at that time.

And he still couldn't, even now, but with different reasons.

"So, what?" It was all too sudden that Lucas didn't know how to react. "You just woke up and realized you don't love me anymore?"

That's the point. Donghyuck cares so much that he wanted this to end so as to stop hurting him. "Would agreeing with that make you hate me?"

"Why do you want me to hate you so bad?!" Lucas can't help but raise his voice out of frustration.

So that it'll be easier to let go of you, Donghyuck had in mind. He wanted the latter to feel the rage in him, to scream and shout his feelings. He wanted Lucas to get mad.