When We Part (on hold)

442 Days

"Don't go," I pleaded. She wasn't listening. She walked on, pretending I hadn't even spoke.

"Please Emily," I sniffled. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me like everyone else. I-"

She turned around and glared at me.

"I don't love you anymore," she hissed. "And this is pathetic Gerard. If I loved you yesterday, I certainly don't today. It's over Gerard. I've paid my time off. I'm moving on. I suggest you do the same."

She turned on her heel and stormed away from our clearing. My world collapsed as her blonde hair disappeared behind the bushes. She was gone. My family was gone. I was gone. My need, it had ruined everything. Suddenly I was all alone, not a friend in the world, not a soul who cared.So that night when I got home, I cracked open a bottle, and drank until I blacked out.

Being blacked out was better than being broken, by far.

++++++++++++++++++++

"Rehab?" he asked.

"I think it's the only way I'll get better," I explained. "This has been ruining my life ever since I got hooked."

"Well if you think it'll help," he sighed.

"I do."

"Alright, Gerard."

We were silent as we ate ramen on my couch. Frank was back to staying at my place, though he'd return to his house every few nights. He told me his mom had been dating, so she wasn't so lonely anymore. I was happy for them. I think they were slowly starting to piece their lives together again.

"Do you think there's a heaven?" I blurted.

"A heaven?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Or just a place after death in general."

"Hmm," he said. "Maybe. I mean I hope there is, but it's likely there isn't. I think the world's just a big mystery and we'll never be able to figure it out. The thing that bothers me though is that we won't know until we die."

"Well that's reason enough," I joked.

He scoffed at me.

"As if," he said, shoving me gently.

"Shut up," I smiled, kissing his cheek. "You smell like ramen."

"Well I'm done now," he chuckled. He put his empty bowl on the counter. "So what do you want to do today."

"One thing comes to mind," I admitted. "But you wouldn't like it."

"What?"

I stared at him. His stubble was growing in. His body was small and slender, but when it was pressed into mine it felt bigger. A bruise on his neck from one of our occasional bouts of spontaneous romance was fading. He was wearing this tight t-shirt that stuck to his skin perfectly. I wanted him.

"Nothing," I sighed. "It stupid."

"I refuse to believe anything you're thinking is stupid," he said, sitting back down next to me. "What is it?"

"Well um," I said. I felt my face burning red. "I was think maybe, um... we could just..." I changed my mind. "Kiss for a while."

Frank smiled.

"You don't have to ask for that," he told me. "I pretty much like always want to kiss your face."

"Oh really?" I laughed.

"Pretty much," he admitted. "Maybe when I don't taste like ramen though."

"But that's my favorite flavor of Frankie."