"My name's Gerard," I started. "Um... I'm nineteen. I've been drinking since I was fourteen. I'm doing better."
The people I was in a circle with clapped politely. The next person stood up, and I sat back down in the elementary school chair. I sighed deeply. I don't understand how this will help me. Social interaction has never helped me, only made my life worse. Everyone in the circle stood up, said their name, age, when they started drinking, and how they feel. I lied on that part. I just wanted this to be over, and to not get into a big discussion. There was only one person who said they weren't doing good.
Her name was Kayleigh. She had pitch black hair, pale skin, and freckles. Not the ginger kind of freckles where they're just all over you. She had Susie's freckles. I think that's what drew me to her. She reminded me of her. Not that she looked particularly alike Susie, maybe it was the way she carried herself. She was always very upfront, and honest. Sometimes her honesty became a bit cocky, maybe the tiniest bit egotistical. But she wasn't an egotistical person. From what I've gathered she's had a lot of problems, but is fairly kind and pleasant. Maybe Frank would like her. Everything nowadays kind of led my mind back to him.
"I'm Kayleigh," she said. "I'm twenty two-"
She looked far too young to be twenty two. If I'd guessed, I'd say she was sixteen. She was the only other young person here-- the rest were in their thirties to fifties.
"I've been addicted to pills since I was seventeen, and I'm not fine at all," she finished.
"What do you mean Kyliegh?" Brendon, the group leader said, calling her the wrong name. He looked uncomfortable. Everyone usually just said they were doing fine or okay. She was weird to him. A dangerous creature threatening this unjustifiably stupid society. She was telling-- the truth???
Gasp.
We must dispose of her immediately. We cannot have foreign aliens like her butting into our support group and SAYING THINGS. THINGS THAT AREN'T PARTICULARLY PLEASANT. TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS. WHAT TOM FOOLERY THAT WOULD CAUSE!
"I know everyone in the group says something along the lines of 'I'm fine' but we're all just lying. We're here for a reason, and if we were 'fine' we wouldn't be here. We'd be at home being 'fine' for the rest of our lives. We're all fucked up and that's why we're here."
She had a point.
"Please don't use profanity miss," Brendon sighed.
She rolled her pale green eyes, clearly unhappy.
"Well, that's the end of this session," he said, wrapping it up fifteen minutes early. "Hands in everyone!"
We all had to put one hand in the middle, on top of someone else's and go 'Living addiction free!' while trying not to get groped by an old man.
A fairly unpleasant experience, especially for someone who hates other people touching them. I think the people who put this group together were negligent of that. Why can't we just say a stupid slogan and retain our personal space? Honestly.
After many of the people dispersed, Kayleigh approached me.
"You're too young to be an alcoholic," she said, eyeing me. "You started at fourteen?"
"Yeah," I spoke quietly.
"Kid, you didn't have any fucking childhood," she said, pitying me. I don't need to be pitied. I don't need people to tell me what I already know.
"I know," I said, turning around to leave.
"Wait," she said. I turned to her.
"Maybe we could go out sometime," she suggested, trying to look small and cute. She was about Frank's size, but that was about as much as I related the two.
"I have a boyfriend," I snapped. She looked taken aback.
"Oh sorry!" she said. "I didn't know you were... you know...."
I rolled my eyes, becoming more annoyed each second.
"Gay?" I asked.
She nodded.
"I'm not," I said, narrowing my eyes at her.
"But-" she started.
"No," I interrupted. "Just stop. You don't need to keep making a fool of yourself so I'll explain it. I like people for who they are, not what genitals they have. Got it?"
She looked embarrassed, and I realize how harsh I'd sounded.
"Um, sorry," I muttered.
"It's fine," she said, chuckling. "Sometimes I come off too strong."
"That's alright," I replied.
"So," she continued, "who's your boyfriend?"
I smiled slightly.
"His name's Frank," I laughed.
"That's a good name," she told me.
"I know."
+++
Sex in a graveyard.
I'm not sure why they'd do it. These goth teenagers always used to come in the latest hours of the night and...
Relieve themselves.
It never really occurred to me that goth kids even had sex. I always just imagined them in their room, listening to dark music and writing poetry. Often people don't think of other people as humans, if they look different or act different. It's human nature I suppose, to pick at the scab of misfits.
But they did it. When I came to work in the mornings I'd find them asleep with their hair in knots and black makeup smeared across their faces. Often they were asleep, often they were half naked. Some weren't necessarily goth, like Andy and his boyfriend Ashley. They wore dark makeup, and had long hair, but I found them to be much different than the other goths. I found them the most frequently. I guess dead people are a turn on for them.
I was telling Frank about this as I lead him to a certain grave.
"I thought we were the only odd couple in this town," he said, following me.
"You can find oddities anywhere dear," I replied. I stopped by the grave I was searching for. My grandmother's.
"Her name was Elena," I said solemnly. "She died right as a I began drinking. I used to drink for fun, but then I drank to feel numb."
"I'm so sorry," Frank said, rubbing my back calmly. I felt my eyes sting.
"We were really close," I said, smiling at the memory. "When I'd hate my mother or get mad at my brother, I'd always come to her. When I got addicted, I never came here. It's my first time visiting her since the summer before sophomore year."
I still knew the way to her grave by heart.
"Maybe you'll see her again," he said. He wrapped his arm around me tighter. "You'll have to introduce me."
"Oh she'd love you," I laughed. "She would love you. You're the exact kind of person she wanted me to end up with?"
"And what might that be?" he asked.
"Sweet," I replied. "Shy. Someone who balances me out."
"The yin to the yang."
"Precisely."
I left a flower in front of her headstone, kissed her goodbye, and left.
Because at the end of the day, we all have to leave.
A/N
Wow this is so short I'm ashamed of myself. I should have written a longer chapter uggggh
Well today's appearance was @xxkaybear as Kyleigh yo
You guys the ending of this story I can't you guys will love it I shit you not
It's so cute.
Okay um you know comment, vote, reading lists and stuff. Much appreciated.
Thanks for reading!
-maddie
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When We Part (on hold)
Фанфик'He was different, right off the bat. You could just tell there was something wrong with him. His eyes were too sunken in, and glassy. He was oddly pale for the burning summer. He was too jumpy, and anxious. He was so... Strange. Normally I didn't...
