In the Dark

Walking is harder than it looks

Kandra was already there the moment I opened my eyes. Before I could even breathe, she began hounding me with all kinds of questions.

"When did you fall asleep? Did the pills work? I knew you wouldn't even notice them in your food, you must've been starving. Did you have any dreams last night? Nightmares? How's your head? Do-"

"Kandra," I started slowly, "I'm fine. Better than I've been in awhile, rest wise. My side still aches terribly though." I tried to sit up, and winced at the effort. Sharp pains crawled all over my left side. She quickly came to my side and helped me sit forward. 

"You're still pretty beat up. You should see the bruises on your side." 

"Did I really fall that hard?" She moved to sit down in the chair next to my bed.

"Well, we think you could've already been hurt after your first, uh, incident. At the hangar." Her voice began echoing oddly, and she seemed to waver, like a holovideo. I shook my head, trying to see her clearly. Maybe I didn't get as much rest as I needed, I thought to myself. Ignoring the odd occurrence, I asked her the obvious question.

"They showed you the holovideo didn't they?" Finally she looked at me with a scared look on her face. I was surprised. She didn't seem like the kind of person to be so openly scared. Then it hit me. 

She was afraid of me.

That didn't make sense though. She wasn't scared of Kanan or Ezra. Surely, they had done similar, if not, worse things than killing a few stormtroopers. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was a little frightening. The imploder went off while still in the trooper's hand. I might've made him press the button. I might've made him kill himself, along with his fellow soldiers, maybe even his closest and oldest friends.

My breath caught, and my stomach turned. I hadn't even given a second thought to those troopers until now. I had joked around with Ezra afterwards like it didn't even matter. Not only that, I had hurt Ezra and myself when that voice ripped itself into my mind. Then I had that disturbing memory resurface, forcing me to remember the two men whom I had hurt, and the terrified look on Lenna's face, that was now matching the one plastered on Kandra.

This is what they think of you, Bria. That you're a monster, ready to kill on a moment's notice. They may not show it yet, but soon they will turn away from you.

There it was. That voice, that thing, re-entered my mind like it was nothing. Like it was a part of me already. I wasn't ready for another memory. I didn't want to see another life I had ruined or destroyed. 

 Then everything stood still, just like in the hangar only a couple days ago. I blinked and Kandra was standing again. She was no longer wavering and went to sit down in the chair, every move she was making mirroring that of seconds earlier. 

"Well, we think you could've already been hurt after your first, uh, incident. At the hangar." She was looking at me, but unlike before she didn't look frightened. She was genuinely concerned for me. 

"What just...what just happened?" The words came out more loudly than I had expected. 

Now Kandra looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Her voice wasn't echoing anymore. I took that as a good sign. "You... you just said that."

"Said what? Are you sure you're feeling alright Bria?"

Listen to her. Pretending to care about you and your well-being. Don't let her fool you. She, along with everyone here, only plan to use your powers for their personal gain and for their little rebellion. Then they will toss you to the side, afraid to let you gain true knowledge of your abilities.