High school sweethearts... (#Wattys2017)

LOST IN THOUGHTS - NISHA

// Hey friends..! Thanks for reading my book till now and today you are going to read “my girls” point of view, hope you enjoy J //

 

 

                 Chapter-42

         (Lost in thoughts: Nisha )

“Did I say him, that everything is over? Did I say him not to see me? Did I say him I will not meet him? Oh! God what pain I caused him, and what pain I caused myself, I am unable to breathe.”

“Aj….!!! Don’t hate me AJ”

“I will always love you, but this is for you I am doing.”

“I want to look back and see you, I want to hold your hand, I want feel the warmth of your hand but I am unable to look back. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

As my mind is filled with thoughts I took my bicycle and started to move, I want to see AJ for one last time but I am afraid I will again run back to him. I moved very far from him and now I am unable to ride my bicycle anymore.

I parked my bicycle on road side and I could sight Aj who is very far from me, my eyes are blurred and I could just see his outline. I sat down on payment as the pain now is inevitable. Its breaking my throat deep from inside.

“I love you Aj!!”I said myself and started weeping, weeping so hard that I almost lost my breath. Everyone on road started to see me but I was not bothered about anything. I cried even louder and hiccups now totally chocked my vocal chord . I could rarely see anything around me but I could hear my lips saying “AJ … I love you” .

I was losing my energy gradually and I know I cannot drive back home and all of a sudden I could see a car stopping in front of me.

“Nisha…. What happened ?” someone said and I could sense its very familiar. As I was about to faint he got me in his arms lifted me and put me in the car.

“Nisha… Drink some water.”

I took the bottle from his hands and now I was even more broken, its my father.

“Pappa..!!” I said.

“First drink some water Nisha”

I took a gulp of water and I vomited it immediately as I couldn’t swallow it.

“Nisha… stay calm don’t cry!! Was your face .”

I got myself to one corner of the car seat and immediately my father opened the door for me. I washed my face sitting in the car itself, as I had no energy to get up. I just made myself calm as I don’t want my father to be worried anymore.

“what happened Nisha?”

A long silence.

“Shall I tell my father everything about Aj. No … No… my brain shouted loudly, It will definitely land him in trouble.”

“Tell me Nisha, what happened, it was almost 3 hours after exam and your mother was literally worried about you and I came to see you. And eventually her fear came true. I never expected you to see hear in this way.” He said and his eyes were almost wet.

My father loves me a lot, he is my first best friend I ever had. I never hide anything from him ,even Aj. My father know everything about Aj except that I love him. He used to tease me and usually get bored about hearing Aj’s name so many times in a day. Now I see him with wet eyes.

“ What am I  doing ?” I always want my father to be happy and now if its Aj whom I need to sacrifice , yes I will do that.”

“Pappa.. I dint do my exam well” I said with out hesitation and I even know he will believe as I did like this quite a many times.”

“You are crying for that? Foolish girl, do you think marks are a matter for us? Just stay calm and smile now everything will be fine. Lets go for now and tell me your funny story to your mother”

“Pappa Cycle..”

“Okay I will come on cycle, you drive car!” He said and took cycle to make me smile.

“I just smiled, the most forcefully I can.”

“Don’t worry about your bicycle, I will send one of our workers to get it.” Saying that he banged the door and started engine.

My thoughts started to haunt me and I just looked into the rear side mirror, I could see Aj sitting on the footpath still, which made me weep even more but I was unable to cry as I don’t want to disappoint my father anymore.

*****

Its one week for now, I rarely came out my room. My doc visited almost every day as I was most lenient to eat any food. I see my parents really worried about me and they still feel that exam tension is the reason for me to be on bed, they kept consoling me that marks are not a problem.

But who knows my problem no one except me, I was unable to share this with Nan either. This pain was slowly creeping in my brain and was killing me from inside. I want to see Aj, I want to look into his eyes, I want to apologise him but I was unable to do that. i dialled his number a thousand times but never allowed it to ring.

I missed him every second and I used to read my slam book a hundred times and smile, reading Aj’s thoughts about me.

*****

It was late night and I was not getting sleep, all my thoughts are hitting me and I could feel the extensive pain in my head. I broke down into tears . As I was unable to bare the pain of missing Aj I dialled his number but cut the call  before I could hear the ring. I slowly got up from bed and checked my cupboard to find my slam book. I found it in the same secret place where I kept.

I bought it on to my bed and started reading it, with tears rolling down and kissing AJ’s words,

“Nisha…. What are you doing ?" I turned back,and  I found my father right behind me..”

                                      To be continued….