Sometimes as Jin lay in bed glancing at the darkness of his room and the walls that were once white, but now had turned a shade of black along with the rest of the darkness the night had bought.
He wondered how his life would have been, if he hadn't joined Bangtan. He thought of his parents, he loved them of course and all he had ever really wanted was to impress them, to let them have a son they could be proud of.
He knew he had finally accomplished that.
He thought of his former best friend, she was the sweetest girl Jin had ever met.
With cherry red lips, sunkissed skin, honey brown eyes and long flowing black hair. She was a beauty to behold even at the young age he knew her.
He wondered if they would have still been friends, as much as he hated to admit it. They wouldn't have, she was already drifting apart from him even then, focusing on her studies. They wouldn't have survied, she was striving far into a path Jin did not wish to follow. She was one of the smartest people Jin had ever known. While Jin was one of those people, who loved music and performing. She had always supported him on that though.
Jin hoped she was doing well, he did love her, he still did, he always would.
She was like a sister to him, the one person that had been for him when no one else was. He wished her the best in her life.
This wasn't regret he was feeling for joining Bangtan it was more like memories. They were memories just fond memories. Of his past life, a life that seemed so long ago.
A life he could barely imagine now, what was life with out his hyungs. Without his bestest friends, his members, the people that would never fail to fail to be there for him.
What was life without Namjoon?
Jin had no clue what his life would have been without Bangtan but he did know one thing. If he hadn't joined BTS he wouldn't have been feeling the pain he felt currently.
As he watched Namjoon flirt with Ji-hye at the dinner he had invited them all too. He questioned his life choices, after all that. All he ended up with was pain, all he was is hurt. He thought past the pain that he was feeling and examined Ji-hye, she was a sight to behold.
Straight red locks, twinling blue eyes. Jin could tell the eyes we're clearly contacts but they made her look even more beautiful than she actually was.
But she was truly stunning, smooth pearl skin. A few freckles dusted against her nose making her look all soft and innocent, and a small dimple was in her left cheek. One that Jin could see as she smiled. She was a sight to behold. Much better looking that he could ever be, Jin thought.
Her and Namjoon looked good toegther. Like a happy couple, a perfect couple. A couple people wouldn't be homophobic about.
A couple made in heaven. A couple that he should be together.
Who was Jin to ruin that? Who was he to ruin Namjoon's happiness?
Jin sighed and picked at his food. As usual he was a fool, looking up Jimin caught his eyes. Winking at Jin Jimin, turned to Ji-hye and started talking to her. His pretty eyes sparkling, as he spoke to Namjoon's girlfriend. Huh.
He then proceeded to tuck a small piece of her hair behind her ear, ignoring the glare Namjoon was giving him. He then winked at Jin again.
What was he up to?
~~~
I am exhausted, and tired.
Good night loves <333.
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HURT | namjin.
Fanfiction❝ it is all the same, kim namjoon will love her, and he will love him. at least that is as clear as the moon in the nighttime and as the sun in the day. it is the way that the world works. who is he to bring turmoil to it? ❞ - a story between the be...