HURT | namjin.

seventeen

Namjoon cocked his head cutely to the side, as he thought. Jin smiled to himself, as he looked at him softly.

"That's actually a really hard question, I usually tell you guys everything" As if it was a afterthought Namjoon then continued softly "Well I at least tell you everything."

Smiling to himself Jin swirled the homemade frosting around as he listenined to Namjoon's velvet rich voice fill the kitchen. He told Namjoon just about everything too.

"T-There is something I haven't told anyone about" Smiling at the bittersweet memory, Namjoon licked the cake batter of his hand. Jin glared at him batting the batter away from him.

"At one of the fan sign's we sometimes have. There was this one guy, he was I think maybe eighteen? And whenever he would try to talk to me, he was a blubbering mess and he was stuttering so much I had barely tell a word of what he was saying" Namjoon couldn't help but smile again as he continued.

"After I had signed what he had bought me, he handed me a letter. And he said he was terrible with talking to someone face to face. But yet he believed he was good with written words. He handed me the letter and begged me too read it one day." Jin smiled softly, he loved their fans.

He couldn't belive that many people supported their dreams, he loved every one of them with his whole heart. He knew Namjoon felt the same way, smiling sweetly, he nodded at Namjoon to continue.

"I took the letter and a few days later I decided to read it. Their are no words to explain how amazed I was by his writing. It was breathtaking his writing that is. The letter he wrote wasn't just one but multiple and they were folded so much when you finally unfolded them. They were so long and big, I loved reading his letters. He even included a few songs in them"

Namjoon sighed and putting the cake batter into the oven. He leaned his back against the counter and went on.

"Every time I would be sad, down, insecure about myself. I would read those letters, they helped me honestly. That guy he was unlike anything I've ever know, I was so thankful for him. But then one day I ran out of letters. Which was terrible." Namjoon said bluntly.

"So I decided to write letters back to him. To help myself maybe, but everytime we would go to a fansign I would bring the letters with me hoping he would be there. And finally one day he was, I had given the letter I wrote to him. And he had given me one in return."

Jin smiled this was so touching, "We did this for about a few years years back and forth, I think we started somewhere close to our debut. H-his letters would always keep me going. Make me feel better. He would always be a every fansign and he would hand me a letter and I would hand him my reply."

Namjoon looked at his feet not yet letting the tears that wanted to leak, leak out of his eyes. "But then one day he wasn't there. I convinced myself, that he just couldn't make it. It wasn't the money that was the problem. I know I wasn't supposed to but I had given him money every time so he could come to the fansign. So I waited for the next one, he wasn't there. He wasn't at the next one after that either."

"Or the one after that, so then I got truly worried. And I did some digging" Namjoon gluped he needed air, thinking about it made him feel as if he was suffocating. As if he it was that moment all over again, gasping he grabbed whatever was closest to him

He placed his palm onto his knees and rested himself on his arm, as he gulped air in and out.

Worried Jin made his way over to him and lightly placed his hand on Namjoon's back and asked "Namjoon w-what happened?" Jin wasn't sure he even wanted to know.

"I-I, h-he commited suicide."

~~~~~~

I was thinking what am I going to do once BTS has to join the military😥

That's like causing me anxiety already. That would mean no BTS for 8 years. Because they're all going at different times. So they won't all be toegther for 8 years.

Welp, I don't want to think about this😓