Under My Roof [Complete]

Chapter 27

Arthit's POV

"Why the fuck do you have 15 bottles of lube in your bag?"

"P' I can explain. It's not what you think."

"Are these 15 bottles of lube?"

"Yeah....no......just 12..."

"Oh, is that so? Totally my fault then. Let's try this again. Why the fuck are there 12 bottles of lube in your bag?"

"Do you have any idea how many types of lubes there are? There is water based, and oil based, and organic, and non-organic, and flavored, and everything else possible under the sun. It was all so confusing. I had absolutely no idea which one you preferred. So I bought everything that looked reasonable."

"What the.....I don't give a damn about the 12 part, it's the lube part of my sentence I need you to answer. Did you just assume I brought you here to have sex with you?"

"Of course I didn't just assume. If I had then I would have just called you and asked which one you wanted instead of buying the entire damn pharmacy. Do you know how much mental ping pong I have been playing all day wondering if you wanted to have sex or not. This was just a contingency plan. Just in case that is what you wanted."

Kill me, please just kill me now. Why did I ever think a vacation with Kong would be relaxing.

"And you were willing to have sex with me purely as a contingency plan?"

"Uhhh......yeah?"

"I have no idea if I should feel flattered or insulted. In either scenario I should definitely whack you on your head."

"So....I am assuming you didn't intend for us to have sex. To be entirely honest, I was slightly worried about it. Only slightly though. If you change your mind, I am totally game."

"No you idiot. I just wanted you to have a small vacation after your stressful trip. Do you know how horrible you look right now? Even zombies wouldn't agree to sleep with you."

"Ouch P', that's kind of harsh."

I plopped down on the bed and buried my face in my hands. This was so not going the way I had planned at all. And this was just the beginning. How the hell am I supposed to woo a guy who stocks up on a bagful of lube on the off chance that I might want to get down to business when I spend a week hyperventilating over a simple kiss. We are just way too different. And then I had to go and get all emotional about him.

When I finally looked up I found Kong staring at me with guilt apparent on his face.

"P'Arthit are you mad at me? I kept overthinking and I panicked cause I didn't want you to be disappointed. I really didn't mean anything by it I swear. I wasn't even going to bring it up. I mean, as much as it's possible to hide all the bottles from you forever. But you are always so shy and careful about everything that just in case you were feeling uncharacteristically bold this weekend I didn't want to squash it. I am sorry I messed things up. I will make it up to you. I promise. Anything you want. Please don't be mad."

"Fine, fine. Can we please not talk about lube, or sex, or any of that."

"Not talk about it tonight or ever? Cause I do have about a year's worth of supply you know."

"Kong!"

"Ok, ok, I am sorry. No more jokes. So what do you want to do now? Go take a walk on the beach or go directly to bed?"

"Beach. Definitely the beach."

"P' are you scared I will pounce on you if you come near the bed?"