Ruled by Distress

Kabanata 1

"I know this girl. Oh my gad! I didn't know she could actually do such thing."

Narinig ko ang kumpolan ng mga tsimosa dito sa mall habang dumadaan ako. Buti nalang at hindi nila ako nakita dahil kung ganun mahahampas ko talaga ang mga pagmumukha nila sa pagiging pakialamera.

I just rolled my eyes and proceed to the cinema I'm suppose to watch.

I just want to feel alone this time. No friends banging. No family watching. No crowd screaming my name. I felt so devastated for the past days and I don't think I could able to handle this without hurting someone or anyone. I want a revenge. I badly want to strangle their neck and throw them to hell for this pain they have caused me.

Yes! Alam kung may kasalanan din ako kasi alam kung kaka break lang nila pero talaga bang wala na akong karapatang umasa man lang? After all these years of feeling so loved again? I was told already that I shouldn't trust this guys motive but I ended up so easy to get.

Pati mga kaibigan ko hindi naniniwala na naka move on na yung lalaki after breaking up with his girl for 5 freaking years. Ako lang! Ako lang talaga ang paniwalang paniwala. I want to shout all my wasted feeling but being in this 4 corners of the cinema forbids me to do so. Sana pala wala ako dito. Sana pala pumunta nalang ako sa isang liblib na lugar o di kaya'y bundok para mailabas ang lahat ng aking mga hinanakit.

But then, this is also the best place to hide my tears as they started to flow continuously. Buti nalang talaga at kaunti lang ang mga nanunuod. My parents didn't know that I was in pain. Even my kuya hindi alam na nagbreak na pala kami. I am secretive when it comes to my family. Only my friends knew what I was feeling.

Kaya ako nagpapakaisa ngayon, to chill and to forget once. Maybe later I will be alittle okay.

"Ohh babe. Fuck! You're so good. "

"sshh stop being noisy babe. They might hear you"

What the fuck! Anong kagaguhan tong narinig ko dito na klaro namang iba ang pinag-uusapan ni James at Nadine sa screen. Did I just feel two buddies fycking? Napalingalinga ako sa mga taong nakaupo malapit sa akin pero wala naman akong nakitang may milagrong ginagawa.

Or did I just remember our nights being together? We might not have got into the point of penetration but we are not young for doing such.

And I heard another moan again. Grabi na talaga. Hindi na ito guniguni. I quickly stand and scanned every detail of the seats and there I saw a man's right hand inserted into the woman's bud. And the girls' facial expression is in full lust. Sa lahat talaga ng lugar sa sinehan pa talaga? Wow ha! Ang mga hampaslupang to.

I remained standing. Watching them from behind. At wala talagang balak tapusin? Dahil sa ngayon the the guys left hand snaked around the girls waist to gain access to her breasts. And they exchange salivas torridly.

Timingala ang babae para mahalikan ang leeg but to her horror, she saw me. Nakakatawang pagmasdan ang kanayng mukhang nagpanic at hindi alam ang gagawin. She moved a bit and whispered to the guy. "Babe may naninilip sa likod" Whispered pero dinig na dinig ko. Bakit parang kasalanan ko? Patawa talaga ang babaeng to.

Im so sad for these types of girl who are so cheap. Tumingala na ngayon ang lalaking naka igting ang panga na para bang galit na galit dahil nabara ko ung pinag gagawa nila. His eyebrows were raised. Wow daig pa ang korte ng kilay ko nito ah.

"ohh the girl in the video.." He voiced out na para bang tinatansya ang aking reaksyon. "What? Hindi pa ba sapat yung mga nagawa mo sa video? You want another round?" He said in full confidence and planted a grin on his face. I can't exactly recognized his face but I don't get what he's talking about pati ang babae ay naguguluhan na din. I'm sure namukhaan ako ng lalaking ito. Sila pa ba na mag number 1 sa balita basta scandal na ang pag-uusapan but I don't like the way he throw those words na para bang kilalang-kilala niya ang pagkatao ko.

"Excuse me"? I said challenging him. I will not back from my track. Dahil una mali yung ginagawa nila dito. This is a place for watching not for fucking. Naka istorbo sila sa mga nanunuod ha. Kung sa hotel sana sila walang manghimasok sa kalaswaang gagawin nila.

.." So you didn't remember anything? Or naglilimot limutan nalang. I remember exactly how you passionately stare at me and kiss me torridly.. hmm"

To my dismay, now I recognized something in my mind but I won't buy that crap. Not in front in this guy and his flirty fling or girlfriend.

"Babe what are you talking about? I don't get it. Magkakilala kayo? Nagkahalikan kayo?" Sabi na pabaling baling ang tingin sa akin at sa kanyang unloyal lover.

"Of course not! Miss, to tell you why I'm here is because I want to remind you two that this place is not for fucking. You two can have your graceful exit now. I know who two can afford a hotel, not here because you have caused disturbance to the people peacefully watching." I said as I rolled my eyes at babalik na sana sa aking inuupuan nang magsalita ang mister.

"Wow. Disturbance to you. Really? At sa lagay mo hindi ako nadisturbo sa ginawa mo sa bar? I was with a girl that night but she left because of what you did. Now tell me, how are you gonna pay for my lost?"

"You bark into a wrong woman mister. Watch your words"! I said with confidence. He quickly grabs my wrist and I felt a strong force inflicted in it. "Did you just threaten me woman? Kasi kung oo takot na takot ako sa maaaring kahihinatnan mo. Baka nakalimutan mo kung sino ang may kasalanan sa ating dalawa sa gabing yun? Hindi pa kita napapatawad dahil dun"

"Babe wait.. what happened? Anu to?" giit ng babaeng na out of place.

"Babe can you wait me outside? I just have to deal something. Lalabas agad ako" With confused look, the girl followed his command. Bumalik naman ang tingin ng lalaking "ewan ko kung sino to" sa akin.

He leaned closer to me at ako naman ay agapang napaatras sa maaring gawin niya. But he's too strong to grab me back and whisper some cryptic words in my ear. I don't get him. Ano ang issue ng lalaking to. Kung siya nga yung nasa video na kahalikan ko, dapat nga magpasalamat sya eh. sumikat siya ng dahil sa akin. Nakakadagdag ng pagkalalaki kaya yun at dapat nga proud siya dun dahil lalaki nga siya. Habulin. Pwe! Ano nga uliy pinagsasabi ko? Erase. Erase.

"Pray that we will not meet again because I might get something you don't want to lose. I don't like the idea of you invading my personal life." He said and row his exit.

What? Sabog talaga ang lalaking yun. Ako pa talaga ang may kasalanan? Yung nasa bar siguro kasalanan ko yun pero ngayon? Hoy anong you might get something I don't want to lose. Gago! Asa rin na magkikita pa tayo. I abhore types of men like you. Fucker!

Hays. Walang katapusan na siguro tong pagiging galit ko sa mga lalaki. I returned to my seat at ngayon hindi ko na alam kung ano na ang nagyari sa eksena ng never not love you.  Kasalanan talaga to ng dalawang asong pagala gala sa sinehan.

Tama talaga ang linyang "ang pag-ibig ay bullshit" damang dama ko to. Sana dama din to ng dalawang hinayupak.