Splendid Ignorance

1985

It was in January that I first took notice of Darcey.

I sat in the lodge with some friends from the high school ski club. Our group had come in from the slopes to have some hot chocolate. It was crowded and smoky in the lodge, but it was a nice break from the cold of the slopes. The lodge was also a break from displaying the fact that I was a lousy skier. Honestly, I enjoyed the lodge and time with my friends more than attempting to appear to ski.

The dark wood and dim light in the lodge created a feeling of being in the wilderness, in a cabin, rustic and elemental, far from civilization. Of course, the noise level contradicted this feeling if you stopped to notice it. We didn't. We were isolated, alone together in our dark booth.

The 'we' were me and my friends. It was a small clique, although we would never have called it that. The central core of the group consisted of Wanda and Iggy. Wanda was a tall, wiry girl with reddish curly hair. While I didn't know her when she was younger, Wanda could have easily played the 'carrot top' years of Anne in any production of "Anne of Green Gables". She was bold and outspoken and often was the ringleader of the group. In close second in the chain of command was Iggy. Iggy was not his real name. I always forgot his real name because I never used it. He was nicknamed "Iggy" because his physique was like that of a young Iggy Pop, virtually zero body fat. However, unlike Iggy Pop, our Iggy was rarely ever without his shirt on. In fact, you would have a better chance on spotting Sasquatch than finding him sans shirt. Also, he liked peanut butter a lot, albeit more conservatively.

There was also Charlotte, Danielle, and Elaine. These three girls served many times as a sounding board to the banter that was usually created by me, Iggy and Wanda. They were great girls, but were of the common garden variety that could have easily been swapped out with other girls from any of the other social clusters that form in the halls and echoes of high school memories. Yet, without their presence, the net worth of me, Iggy and Wanda would have certainly been lessened.

The one person that was not of the core group that night was Darcey. She had latched on to our group a few weeks after the ski club had started. Wanda was good friends with her and so we had not questioned her presence. Darcey went to my school, but I guess that I never really noticed her before. I knew who she was, but I hadn't really singled her out with any importance.

As we all sat crammed in our booth, joking and drinking our hot chocolates, a strange silence gradually fell over the group. I wasn't aware of it at first, but as the sounds from the lodge pervaded my senses, I suddenly became aware of it. I then had the strange inkling that I was somehow the focus of everyone's attention.

Perhaps, if I had been more aware, I would have picked up on some of the hints. I guess I had thought the odd signs were because it was the last day of ski club. Of course, hindsight lets you examine things closely even though they are behind you and often past any real benefit of analysis. Yet, those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. However, those that live in the past are just plain doomed. And it was moments like that night in the ski lodge that was the catalyst that moved me to living in the past.

I stared at my friends, becoming more aware of the silence. I looked at Wanda and Darcey that were sitting across from me, and I noticed that Wanda kept glancing at me as she nudged Darcey. It was not hard to notice and feel an overwhelming sense of awkwardness. To break the tension of that moment, I got up to get another hot chocolate. As I announced my intensions, Wanda said that she'd come along with me. As I approached the counter to order, she tugged on my sweater.

"Are you going to the dance?" She asked as we navigated our way up to the concessions counter.

"What dance?" I responded, half listening.