Splendid Ignorance

1991

I was baptized the last weekend of January and when a group from church went out for lunch after service it was a pleasure to see Flora at the table. I had not even known that she had come along because she was back in town. Sometime during lunch, as people began socializing, she came over and sat down next to me.

"I saw you get baptized this morning. I thought that was awesome." She said.

"It was. My whole life has been so different these last few months. It seems like so much that happened before was from some other person's life. If that makes any sense." I said.

She laughed a bit. "It does make sense."

"I get the meaning of being born again. It really is like starting over with a clean slate." I said.

"Resetting things back to being simple." When she said that, she had me. Of course, that probably is when I set things on a trajectory toward complexity. "I heard that Ray was the one that brought you to church a couple months ago."

"Yeah. I haven't seen much of him lately because it's winter so the construction business has been rather slow. I don't get called out to jobs that much." I said.

"I bet that's hard on the pocketbook." She said.

"It is. I'm thinking that I might have to get another job. I'm praying about it. Right now, I hate to admit it, but I'm living at home."

"Nothing wrong with that. Now, if you were forty, maybe." She smiled and I chuckled. "It may sound hokey, but God will provide."

"It doesn't sound hokey. I'm getting used to it. Honestly, 'good luck' is actually hokier sounding to me than 'God will provide'. What real meaning is there behind luck? It's arbitrary. God is absolute. Jehovah Jireh." I said.

We hung out in groups for a couple months, going out to eat, hanging at each other's houses doing studies, watching a movie, playing games or just chatting. It was as if the present and the past had no dominion. Those months seemed like time compressed. Set apart. Innocent and simple.

One night in March a group from church had a movie night and watched Sullivan's "Anne of Green Gables". It was refreshing. Simple and pure. Full of meaning and relevance to me. At the end as Gilbert and Anne were walking through the field I had made up my mind. Again, my heart and mind decided to meet and agree.

Flora was getting some pretzels and I walked up to her. "Flora, could I talk to you?"

"Sure."

"I was wondering if you would have dinner with me one night this week?" I asked.

"I'd love to." She smiled as she took a bite of pretzel.

Up to this point, all our interactions had been within groups from church. Even though I was certain that she'd at least have dinner, I was not certain if it could evolve into anything other than a nice meal. No foreknowledge like on the ski lift.

"I mean alone. Just us two if you are OK with that?" I thought that I should clarify the arrangement to avoid any uncomfortable, unforeseen snafu.

"Yes, I'd love to do that." She smiled again. "Let me give you my number so that you can call me." She went to get her purse for a pen, and I stood there. I was not sure what to make of it. It was positive. It held promise. However, I had a hesitation. It was like I was being asked to get back on a horse that had just kicked me off. But, when she came back and gave me the paper with her phone number on it, what she said next dispelled much of the misgivings that I was feeling.

"Here you go. I was wondering if you were going to ask me out. I was hoping that you would. You are a really interesting guy."

When everybody was leaving that night, Flora came up next to me and was getting my jacket. "Give me a call tonight if you can. I'll be up because I don't have to go to work tomorrow."

I had been toying with the idea of calling her later but was conflicted if it was too presumptuous. Her invitation helped to take away the presumptuousness that I had. I did call her later that night. During out conversation time was again compressed. It seemed the awkwardness, the guessing, the mentalness was gone with Flora. I wasn't floating in the middle of the lake of the past. I was safely ashore. I was free. It was now, TODAY. Now, I had God to help me. Jesus was my life guard. Like Peter, I could sink, but if I kept my eyes on Jesus I could do more. I could walk on water. I could. At that moment, I could.