Splendid Ignorance

1990

Ray James and I had many talks over coffee. After work one night we met at our usual place. I still smoked then and you could smoke in public with minimal limitations. I smoked more when I talked, and I was creating a deadly cloud around our booth. The more Ray listened to me, the more I realized I had nothing of substance to say. It was all so vague and void of meaning. Darcey was one girl. We had dated for only about six months. That was nearly three years ago. It was over, in the past. The vapor I was blowing out had more substance than the words I was speaking.

Ray told me about some of his relationship problems. Like with his other topics, he would pepper it with connections to God and how Jesus had saved his life; not only spiritually, for eternity, but stopped him from walking down the path of an early death due to stupid, destructive behaviors he used to be involved in.

"I know it's not popular to say that there is only one way, but I tell you man, Jesus is it." Ray said.

I nodded, I acquiesced. I didn't get it. It sounded rather hokey. I seemed to work for Ray, but I guess I felt I was too sophisticated. I didn't realize that Ray simply was trying to encapsulate and convey the enormity and power of God in a statement made in casual conversation and what He had done in his life. I came to realize as I reflected and pondered all those hokey statements that there was something profound behind what Ray was saying. I thought that I could probably take what Ray was saying and put it into better words. Then, I realized that all the times I tried to put important things into words, often they sounded hokey to others. But, they were not hokey. They were merely limited by my ability to adequately communicate them. Yet, that limitation did not diminish the importance of those words. I think it was this fact that God used to open my mind and heart. That, despite all the hokeyness, I could not stop thinking about Ray's words. But, it was more than that. It was also the person behind the words that were spoken and the conviction of belief in them by the speaker. There was a depth and substance. There was a simplicity.

That talk with Ray was on a Monday. On Tuesday, Ray invited me to come to a show that was coming up on Friday night. It was a comedy show. A Christian comedy show. I had grown up on Bob Newhart and Monty Python. I preferred SCTV over Saturday Night Live, with the exception of maybe the Mr. Bill segments. My comedic tastes were pretty varied. I was intrigued to see what a Christian comedian had to offer, although I admit that I wasn't expecting too much. The show was free, so I felt that I could afford it. All it would cost me was a night out drinking and that routine was becoming dull and empty, not to mention hitting me hard in the wallet. Plus, Ray had shown me a lot of attention and sincerely given me some thoughtful advice. I felt that I owed him. I agreed to meet him there.

The parking lot was full the night of the show. I arrived early and still had to park on the far end of the lot. It was a large church of an evangelist that I had known about from television. He was a bit of an eccentric character, but I could tolerate that. I could appreciate too that he wasn't one of those televangelists involved in the endless parade of stereotypical controversies that seemed to be synonymous with the televangelists of that era.

Needless to say, I was nervous going into the church. It was called Tomorrow's Cathedral and was a very large building. I had only been in a church a couple of times as a young boy when my grandparent's had taken me. So, I did not know what to make of the situation as I walked past the people at the door with what looked like chicken buckets taking 'love offerings'.

My sense of alienation continued as I walked into the church's sanctuary. It was darkened like a movie theater before a film begins. The stage was a dim glow of golden lights and there were pinpoint lights along the aisle seats on the floor, but the primary illumination came from the above me. Extending nearly the entire length of the huge room was an enormous cross on the ceiling. The cross glowed, emitting a deep red light that shown from its entire smooth surface. My mind was swimming with questions as I took a few steps into the sanctuary. First, how was I going to find Ray in a crowd this size? Second, and probably more pressing, what had I gotten myself into?