When You Fall (ON HOLD)

Pent Up Emotions

Trigger warning: mentions of self harm

-The next day-

"Knock knock, it's me," Garrett says sweetly as he opens the door. I sit up as he enters the room. "How're you feeling? I brought you some food, I thought you might be hungry," Garrett explains as he sits next to me.

"Hey Garr, I feel okay. I'm not physically ill, just feel a little 'bleh'" he nods, "and I'm not hungry, but thank you," I lied. Just then my stomach growls, betraying me. Garrett raised an eyebrow at me.

"Your stomach begs to differ, when did you last eat?" He questions. I pause, debating on whether or not to tell him the truth. I finally give in and answer him.

"A day or two I think... I haven't done much outside of Netflix and sleeping." Garrett gasps as his eyes go wide in shock.

"Two days?! Have you been drinking at least?" His voice laced with concern. I stay silent, looking at my hands, fiddling with the sleeves I had on to conceal the cuts from last night. My silence answers his question and he pauses, realization kicking in. "Em, when you say you don't feel good, are you saying you're depressed?" I shrug.

"I don't know... I guess. Honestly I don't know what I'm feeling." I try to stop talking, but for some reason I can't. I felt so safe and comfortable with Garrett that all of the pent up emotions I had been hiding for days started coming out, and I began to tear up. "I'm just, I don't know. I feel alone, and miserable, and, and stupid because I have no reason to feel like that! I'm not alone, and L.A. is great, you guys are great. I don't know what's happening, my depression has never hit me this hard. At first I thought it was the move, but it's not. I don't know what to do. I just want to be alone and watch Netflix." I wipe a tear as Garrett pulls me into a hug.

"I get it, I went through that a few years back. But staying in bed is one of the worst things to do. Now, don't get mad by what I'm about to ask you, but when's the last time you showered?" I stop and think.

"A week ago...maybe? I don't know." He nods.

"Okay, well I think a shower is a good first step. Then I think you should change into that awesome deadpool t-shirt that we don't appreciate enough. Then, you and I are gonna eat dinner, and possibly binge watch Disney movies." He grabs my wrist to pull me off of the air mattress and I wince in pain. I try to pull my arm away so that he won't see, but he holds it firmly in place as he pushes my sleeve up to reveal four cuts on my wrist, still healing.

I take my arm back, pulling the sleeve down, avoiding eye contact. I didn't want him to find out... or anyone for that matter.

"Em, why?" Was all he managed to ask, still in shock. I shake my head.

"I felt numb, and I was so done with everything... I, I didn't know what else to do..." I mumbled.

"You call someone! That's what you do! Em, please, don't do that again. Next time call someone, please?" I nod as he hugs me. "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone. This time. But, if I find out it happened again, we're telling someone else." I nod again in agreement. I didn't want to do it again, but I couldn't promise that I wouldn't.

"Well, let's get on with what I originally said, yeah? You go shower and I'm gonna feed the animals. Then we can eat and watch Tangled." He smiles, hugging me again.

"Okay Garrett," I smile up at him, "thank you."