When You Fall (ON HOLD)

Hidden In Plain Sight

Trigger warning: mentions of past self harm
-One month later-

"Hey Em, we're going to swim for a while, you wanna join us?" Morgan asked as she walked out of our shared bathroom in a swimsuit.

"Yeah sure, I'll be right there," I reply with a smile as I walk in the bathroom to change. After my heart-to-heart with Garrett a month ago, things seemed to get a little better. I don't feel quite as alone as I did before.

I pull my top and bottoms off and look at myself in the mirror before pulling my one piece on, covering the scars on my stomach. My cuts from that first night healed with practically no scarring. But I hadn't been able to stop like Garrett had asked. So, to avoid him finding out, I started cutting in places I knew he wouldn't see.I tried to fight the urge, and sometimes I won. And other nights I would sit in the bathroom crying and finally give in, making new marks, sometimes one, sometimes more.

As I was getting ready to walk out to the pool, I checked my phone. I had a notification that Shane had uploaded a video about thirty to forty minutes ago. I go to it and decide to skim the comments. I had been in the video, but hadn't seen the final product, I decided to watch it later. I noticed a lot of people shipping Garrett and Morgan, Morgan and Andrew, and... Garrett and Me? What?? I keep scrolling and notice a thread of comments about me.

"I don't like that Emily girl. She's so boring. And she's totally just using Shane and Ryland."

I can't believe they would think that. I started reading the replies, some were nice and defended me, others not so much.

"I know right? She tries too hard. I wish she would've stayed in Colorado."

My heart broke a little as I read that, but I decide to ignore it. Most of the people in the comments seem to like me, who cares about a few haters. I tell myself as I put my phone on a chair outside and hop in the pool.

We play all kinds of games, Marco Polo, pool noodle jousting, which is just as silly as it sounds, and Chicken, which was the one I enjoyed the most. It was Garrett and I against Morgan and Andrew. Garrett and I won a couple of times, but lost most of the matches. After about the fifth one, I decided to take a break, and Ryland took my place on Garretts shoulders. I climb out of the pool and decide to sit and check Instagram.

I begin by checking Instagram stories and then I decided to look at pictures I had been tagged in. Since I started being in Shane's videos more, I had started to be included in fan edits, which was so amazing. As I was scrolling, I came upon a photo that I can only guess is from today's video. It wasn't a very flattering image, and I decide to check it out. I tap on the photo and read the caption.

"I don't know why Shane and the squad would be friends with this. She's not funny. Not to mention she's fat and ugly too."

I immediately close Instagram. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does today. I suddenly feel the urge to cut again starting, but I try to resist it as Shane gets out of the water and sits next to me.

"So did you watch today's video yet?" He grins.

"Nope." I reply, "but I'm going to later when we're done." I fake a smile, trying to hide my true emotions.

"You'll love it."