Relentless Lover

001.

The first time I saw her, my heart raced in a way that I can't even explain into words.
The first time I laid my eyes on her, I told myself that she is worth it.
She is beautiful.
Her eyes are like dove's eyes.
She reminds me of a rainbow after battling with the rain.

After that day, I knew that I will never be the same again.

~:~

She became the apple of my eye and the treasure that my attention seeks although she doesn't notice.
I just look at her with so much love even though I know that she doesn't look at me that way.
She's a girl who doesn't last a day without having a fight with someone and she doesn't let herself sleep if she haven't drank a bottle of alcohol.
Her pocket never runs out of cigarettes...and whenever she just wants to waste time, she'll lit one and blew out smoke.
She has friends whose hobbies are just like hers.
In their every conversation, they never miss out mentioning that life is boring and that they are hoping to be gone already.
However, I have to admit that I cover my ears whenever they talk about it.
Simply because it hurts me.

~:~

Every day, I never stop hoping that she'll notice me even just for a second.
Luckily, she did...I guess.
It was a cold afternoon and the streets were cloaked in white when I saw her went out from a store with plastic bags which I assumed have bottles of alcohol.
She walked hastily as if she doesn't have any time left and because of how occupied she was, she accidentally bumped me which caused me to lose balance and fall on the icy ground.
With a scrutinizing look, she grumbled. "Watch where you going, idiot."
And with that statement of hers, she walked away without even lending a hand or giving a second glance.
It didn't went well, the first time she noticed me, I mean.
It didn't went well and it hurts.
Still, it didn't lessen my love for her.
I still see her as a beautiful one.

~:~

At school, she's known as a rule breaker.
Teachers never fail to shoot thousands of daggers at her through frustrated glances.
Every time she walks through the hallway, people never fail to whisper words about her which I have to admit are far from compliments.
A lot of times she gets bullied by some but because she is a bit of an impetuous fist fighter, she'll start a fight.
It hurts me to hear those negative words being thrown at her.
But what breaks my heart was the fact that all she sees were angry eyes from people who dislike her instead of seeing my eyes that shines with love.
My eyes that sees the best in her.

~:~

There was a time when she lost from a fight. She was left on the grassy ground while people made her a laughing stock before walking away from that area.
She has bruises on her arms, scars on her hands, and cuts on her face that're bleeding.
Her beautiful face was covered in dirt and blood but still, it didn't convince me to think that she isn't pretty anymore because I, Myself, know that she truly is a gem; someone who is far more precious than any earthly treasures.

When she was all alone and the people who hurt her were already gone, I slowly approached her and reached out my hand to help her stand up.
My heart raced when she looked at my waiting hand but it eventually broke when she rolled her eyes at me and tried to stand up without even acknowledging my hand that is longing to be held by her.
She had a hard time standing up and when she finally took a hold of herself, she walked away, limping.
As I hear the brokenness of my very own heart, I whispered, "I love you."

~:~

It was a Saturday night when she went out from her house with a bottle of wine and her phone.
She went to the park where she usually go to whenever things aren't well for her.
She was talking to someone on her phone and after a few minutes, she started to yell as her face grew red and because I know her too well, I started to feel that something's wrong.
She was arguing with that person she was talking to. It's pretty obvious.
Her loud raspy voice roamed around the empty place as if she was shooting out her pain through words in a basket of abyss.
I felt my hand shook when her lips started to tremble. She looked up and blinked, trying to stop her tears.
She was convincing herself that she's strong and that she shouldn't cry but the truth is, she isn't.
She's a fragile chinese doll that is needed to be handled with care.