Blood Lilly

Chapter 25

Funny, how your life can change in such a short amount of time. One minute you think you know what is going to happen; you'll wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home from work, eat, sleep and then do it all again tomorrow. That was simple, comfortable even, but my life had never been simple. There were only brief periods of easiness in which I could fool myself into believing that I was just like everyone else. Right now, life felt simple, and I was relishing living in the lies. Too bad I knew it wouldn't last.

Today was the day work found out I was expecting. Mike had declared I share the news before Levi and I left, he wanted to throw us a kind of baby/going away party. Levi wasn't happy about the idea until I threatened not come with him. Everyone at work knew we were a couple or at least that's how it was supposed to look like. Even Mike thought so, though he asked a lot more questions than I had expected. Mike didn't seem to like the idea of us, but he mostly kept his mouth shut and settled for glaring at Levi.

I, on the other hand, knew that today would be the final day that I could live in my bubble. It was nice, pretending to be human and enjoying the mundane lifestyle I had going. In a few days, I would return to the place that had almost destroyed me, seeking refuge there. It was a bitter pill to swallow. In my head, I had planned to kill Cayn the next time I saw him. It was weird to know that wasn't going to happen. Instead, I expected to be nice to him, something which did not sit well with me. Cayn was apparently the only one who could save us, from the wrath of the Order. I didn't want to believe it, but what other choice did I have?

In moments of weakness, I thought about calling Gabriel, explaining to him that he was going to become a father. Rare daydreams where he would be overjoyed at the news and would beg me to wait for him. Gabriel would become my hero, and we would be happy, just as he promised me. The only thing was, they were daydreams and not the kind that was bound to come true. Levi wouldn't stop me if I wanted to tell Gabriel, but he let me know how dangerous that might be. Cayn didn't even know about the baby yet. He figured we were going back to arrange some deal to stop the Order from trying to kill me. Levi also made it clear that we had to pretend we were in love for this to work; Amy could smell a lie, so we needed to halt any questions which might lead to the truth about my baby's father coming out.

The thought of pretending to love Levi was easy. A part of me still yearned to be near him, and yet, my head kept reminding me of the cost I might have to pay. Some part of me knew I loved him. I always had. Maybe I always would, but that didn't mean he was the person I should be with. I wasn't convinced I should be with anyone. My choice in men was not exactly, stellar. Though in all fairness, Levi had been wonderful and supportive these past few weeks. Not once did he attempt to pressure me into loving him. If I wanted space, he would give me space, and if I wanted him close he lay on top of the covers until I was asleep or morning came. Levi even knew what food triggered my morning sickness and what seemed to calm my stomach. In fact, he was everything a girl could wish for in a man; if only he had always been like that. If only he had shown me this, instead of ripping out my heart and tossing into the trash. My heart wanted him badly. I didn't want to be alone, raising this child but my head wouldn't quit the warnings. However, it seemed those warnings were becoming less and less of late.

With a heavy sigh, I glanced over at him. He spotted me and smiled, walking across the road. "So Lilly, are you ready to say goodbye to everyone?" he asked when he reached me.

"No, not really, I don't know why we have to leave tomorrow? What's another week or two?" I asked in the hope he would give in, knowing it was futile.

"You're already at twelve weeks Lilly. I can see the tiny bump already. You know we can't hide it anymore." Levi warned tenderly, as he placed his hand on my tummy. It was true I did have a slight bump. I had even gone up one pants size.