Butterfly (Prequal to Burn)

T H R E E

Screams.

I remembered them.

They were my mother's screams and my sister's screams. The sound of flesh smacking into flesh sounded as my brother's fist flew to my dad's face.

Only 15 and he already knew that our dad was dangerous and needed to be stopped. My dad, feeling threatened, pulled a gun on my brother and pulled the trigger.

The piece of metal considered a weapon swung around the room until it landed on us.

A gunshot.

A gunshot meant for my sister.

A gunshot meant for my mom.

The bullet came for me and..

I shot up and panted. The sheets stuck to my body because of the sweat that soaked me. My breathing was a wheeze and I felt nausea attack my stomach. The adrenaline that courses through my veins sent my hands up to my head and down to my feet shaking.

I remembered what my councilor has told me. In through your nose out through your mouth. I calmed myself as best I could, running my hands over my face and most likely smearing my make up from last night.

Wait. Last night...

My hands slid across the bed but I felt nothing. Not a body. No one.

Jax was gone.

I sighed again and ran a hand through my hair. I reached for the nightstand beside the bed and my hand wrapped around the metallic and cool surface of my phone. Along the way, I felt paper crumple. I peeked an eye open to see a note and 50 bucks tucked between the fold of the paper.

Not bad for the first time, kid.

—J

I stared at the money and felt nauseas again. I ran for the bathroom and puked in his toilet.

ℛℳ

Of course he wasn't anywhere to be found. The 50 dollars were a heavy weight inside of my side pocket. My jeans were tight enough that the outline of the bills were seeable by anyone I passed. It made me feel dirty—not the way any girl wants the first time to feel like. It was as if everyone was watching me. Judging me.

I felt like getting a hat and sunglasses and hiding my identity. My family would be hosting another get together for the happy couple at my house later on today. Maybe he'd be there and I could return his money.

I changed direction and headed back home. I ran up the stairs and hopped in the shower. My lower region was throbbing in pain. I'd taken on a big man for my first time and my body was not agreeing with it.

I rinsed the smell of sex off of my body and the stickiness that resided between my legs. I washed the sweat from my hair before sinking to the tiled floor of the shower. I didn't know what'd I'd done. Had I really just had sex with....well, I didn't know how old he was but he was way older than me. 30's maybe? He was way too experienced and he'd known it was my first time without me having to tell him.

He may have been my brother-in-law's brother but he was a complete stranger to me. I'd let a complete stranger take my virginity. I buried my face in my hands..

ℛℳ

I baked chocolate chip cookies for the family get together. Both sides of the family, the bride's and the groom's, would be attending. I kinda hoped Jax wouldn't show up. I was ashamed enough. I set the snacks and dips out and helped my family make the place look clean. My sister, dressed in a loose flowing green shirt and jeans, helped me push the couch aside in case people wanted to dance. The ring on her finger that signifies everything gleamed atop her finger.

I caught her eyes flitting to it every now and then and on the fifth time, I grabbed her hand gently, "What's wrong?" I asked her with a smile. That sisterly bond between us began to spark up the moment I asked the question.

She peered at her ring again and smiled sadly, "What if this doesn't work out?" She asked me.

"Aren't these questions you're supposed to think about before you get married?" I asked her.

She laughed, "No, I mean..." she paused, "What if....what if Robbie turns out like...dad?"

My heart stuttered. It always did when someone mentioned that name—that title.

"Then I'll be there every step of the way to make sure he gets out of your life. He won't ever hurt you. Not while I'm still breathing." I told her firmly. I held her hand and kissed the palm of it like we used to do after we made a promise to each other. She smiled at me.

"Sometimes I think you're older than you look." Ella told me.

I smiled at her, "I have an old soul."

"Yes, I'm afraid you do." She kisses my head and gently took her hand away from mine. My own going cold from the lack of contact, "So, Where'd you run off to last night?" She asked me. I turned and acted as if I was folding a blanket to hide the complete and utter shock and shame that loitered on my face. I willed my voice not to break as I said, "I went with Michelle. She decided it would be a good idea to drink at the after party. Someone had to make sure she didn't get herself killed."

My sister turned slowly and raised a brow, a common look that told me she knew I was lying, "Funny. Michelle showed back up at the after party—alone."

I shrugged and I swear my body curled in on itself. I winced, "I went home. I wasn't feeling well.."

"Oh no." My sister said her face twisting in worry, "Is it the migraines? The bad dreams? Are you sick again."

Yes, "No, I'm not," I told her. A lie and a really big one, "It was the music. Just a normal headache."

She nodded, albeit reluctantly, and clapped her hands together to rid them of the dust. Her upper lip curled in disgust as she beheld the dust below the couch, "Help me sweep this up?" She asked me.

"I'll get the broom and dustpan."