Fire in her Heart and Ice in her Veins.

Chapter 17

2 days later. Sunday, August 13 ,1979. 3:00 p.m.

 Chelsea's POV...

I thought Jack has changed. Same with Mac. I thought they had finally gotten over their dumb rivalry. But I thought wrong. 

After practice, when they got into that fight nothing made me feel so betrayed and used before. It made me so angry!

I also found out that Rob has a crush on me and he and Jack have been causing unwanted drama and tension to both sides of the team. That is the Boston/ Minnesota Rivalries. 

I was so mad at both of them, mostly Jack because I let him get in my head. I believed him when he said he liked me and I let him sweet talk me. I am so dumb and naive for letting him convince me that he wasn't going to be like my last boyfriend. I am so pissed that Mac and Jack got the best of me though...I don't know why I thought they would be different. 

I don't understand why Jack started that fight though...even after he promised me he would try being nicer to Rob.  He knew I was friends with Rob and knew that I cared about him. Not in a romantic way or anything like that, but I still cared about him. But Jack didn't think twice on it when he got in that fight. Then again when does Jack ever over think. He just does. 

That's the problem. 

He just does. He doesn't care about what I think. He only cares about himself. Always has been himself. He just acts on whatever pops into that brain of his, and doesn't think of the outcome...the aftermath of the situation. 

Rizzo told me that Jack gave a brief message to all the boys to stay clear from me. That if any of them tried to flirt with me... or hell even talk to me, he would beat them up. He automatically thought I was already his. 

But I'm not. I agreed to one date, that's it. He's acting like I agreed to being his girlfriend or something. 

I don't know the guy. I give him an A+ on his handsome looks, but a F on his behaviour. He acts like a child. He knows nothing at all about me. Just that I'm 18 years old, I'm from New York, I play hockey, had a shitty ex boyfriend who cheated on me and that my moms dead. 

He doesn't know my story. He doesn't know everything I've been through in the past 7 years. He doesn't care either. He just thinks I'll be his girlfriend for a few weeks before he gets bored with me and finds some other girl to mess with. 

So, the date we were supposed to have on Friday, never happened. And I'm glad it didn't happen. I can't stand to even look at him right now. I'm just so angry. 

After my last relationship with Jayce....well I thought nothing could be worse than that. He broke me. Destroyed me. Tore my heart and mind to pieces.  

But when I met Jack that all changed. My heart and mind where slowly but surly coming whole again. And then it all fell apart yesterday. I can't trust people. I can only trust myself.

I'm experiencing another heartbreak and its killing me. I just want to be loved. I want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay when my world is crashing down around me. I thought Jack could be that somebody...but now I'm not sure. 

I don't know why I had---have feelings for him in the first place. A lot changed in my life in only a few days than it has in the last couple of months. I can't believe I let his stupid charms fool me. 

In Starbucks a few days ago, and at the movies, I saw a whole different side of Jack. He was gentle and kind, and he made me feel hopeful. I haven't felt hopeful in a long time. I wanted to get to know this amazing person more, this new Jack...but before I knew it the old Jack was back. 

Yesterday, I tried my best to ignore them both, but it's not working. I live with one of them for fuck sakes! I have to stop putting myself in situations where my heart will get broken...even if that means to shut out all my emotions. It's just too hard to keep living like this. With all these lies. I need a change in my life. That why I came to Minnesota in the first place. A fresh new start in my life. A new chapter in my book. And that's what I keep on planning to do.  

Jack left a few hours ago with Rizzo, Mark and Jim Craig, and I am using this time to move out of our room. I need to have a clear mind right now and the only way possible to find that would be to move out. I got a room of my own. I got a special deal on renting a single room on the second floor for the next couple of months. 

I just needed to throw my clothes into my suitcases and move them over to my room, where all my other belongings already were. I folded my last shirt and set it gently on top of the stack of clothes and I closed my suitcase. I picked them up and was about to leave my— Jacks room, but something stopped me. 

I felt bad that I was moving out, without even telling Jack about it. He'll probably think of me as some coward or selfish person for doing this.  And as much as I hate to admit it...I still like him. I haven't told anyone that I was moving into my own room, not even Rizzo. 

I should probably at least leave a note for Jack...thats the nicest thing I could do. 

I set my bags down and walked over towards the desk. I grabbed a piece of paper, and a pen and told him what I was doing and where I was going. I told Jack that I'm sorry I was leaving, and told him how I felt about him. I set the piece of paper down on the desk, resting it against the lamp.  

I explained everything to Jack about how I felt about him, how I felt about his fight with Rob and how I felt about Rob. Hopefully Jack will finally understand that I do NOT have feelings for Mac and he can put this foolishness behind him once and for all.  

I got up out of the chair and set the note by the night stand. I also rested my room key up against the lamp. I wouldn't be needing that any longer so I'll just leave it there and let Jack deal with it. I walked over towards my luggage, took one last look at my old room and moved to my new place. 

I took the elevator down to the second floor and walked down a tacky hallway, stopping at my new room. The door was a dark green, unlike my other door that was white. 

I unlocked the door and waddled through the doorway and set my bags by my dresser. My new room looked the exact same as the one Jack and I shared, except this time I don't have to share the dresser. 

I quickly unpacked my clothes and put my jeans in one drawer, sweatpants and leggings in another. Shirts, sweaters, socks, panties (etc.). I soon finished and walked into the bathroom. I turned the faucet on, filling up the tub with warm water.  I striped down, and threw a few essential oils into the hot water.

I had my radio by me and was listening to Bill Withers Ain't No Sunshine. 

I found the blues to be comforting in a situation like this. It's always helped me when I was feeling stressed. I turned the bathroom lights off, grabbed a few candles and set them up around the tub. Once I was finally done setting everything up, I stepped into the steamy warm water, and laid down. 

" Ahhh, this feels so good" I said to myself, closing my eyes and letting my body relax. 

" This is what I need. Silence. Peace. No drama and most importantly, No Boys".

I felt my body become more and more relaxed and I felt my eye lids grow heavy. I could barley keep them open, and gave into the sleep. I stared at the faucet one more time before all I saw was darkness.