I gasp as my phone starts to ring. I look at the caller i.d.:
'Unknown'
It has to be him. I answer, squirming from joy as the automated voice recites that the call is being monitored and recorded. I accept the charges and answer the phone call.
"Hello?"
"Hi baby," his raspy voice replied back. "How are you?"
"I'm doing a lot better than before," I told him, rubbing my stomach, which hadn't gotten any bigger.
"Good. Did you talk to my mama?"
"Yeah, you haven't talked to her recently?"
"I would have but they took my phone privileges for a little so you the first person I called since the last time we talked," he told me.
"Damn, why they take the phone privileges?"
"Some bullshit with these Miami niggas in here. It ain't nothing new. You straight, ma?" He asked again.
"Yeah. I'm good," I got an idea. "Hey, you know the night before you left? Did you pull out, or wrap up at all?"
"I'm not sure, why?" Who the hell was lying to me?
"Jahseh," I sternly warn him.
"Okay, no. I didn't. I'm really sorry if you didn't want to-"
"That should've been my decision, too, Jah," I told him.
"And I understand that. What I did was unacceptable and I hope you can forgive me. It was in the spur of the moment. All I could think about was the fact that I had to leave for who knows how long in a matter of hours. Do you know how scary that is, Azariah?"
"I'm pregnant."
Silence. He doesn't say a word for almost 30 seconds. "You pregnant for real?" His voice shook and he sniffed.
"Jah, are you crying?"
"Yeah I'm fucking crying! How come you just finding out? How far along are you?"
"I didn't show any signs and my stomach is still small so I didn't think about it until mama Cleo made me take a store test, then Stokely took me to the clinic yesterday and they confirmed it. I'm about 4 months already."
"Are you fucking serious? I need to get the fuck outta here."
"Jahseh, relax. I'm gonna be here when you get out and I'll make whatever adjustments you need me to. Don't forget you have a career," I reminded him.
"No. I'm the one that needs to make the adjustments. Just relax and make sure Ski does not leave your fucking side, you hear me?"
"Baby, calm down. It's all under control and you have nothing to worry about. I'm not even showing," I told him.
"How? Are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine," I laughed. "All pregnancies are different. I still got my period the first three months."
"That's weird as fuck," he said. I laughed again.
"I love you, so much. I'm gonna get out of here, okay? And we'll be together and raise this person we made," his voice was softer. "I promise you."
"I love you more. You'll be out before you know it. Just don't freak out or lose your head. Whenever you feel like you can't take it anymore, think of baby names," I suggested.
"Yeah?" He thought. "Huh, Yeah. That could work. Thank you," he mumbled.
"Anytime-"
"You have two minutes remaining."
"Pick up prenatal vitamins and send me pictures of everything. Write me if you want to. I'm always here for you. That didn't change," his tired voice told me through the jail phone.
"Okay," tears pricked my eyes.
"Stop crying," he said sternly.
"Don't tell me what to do," I cried.
"Awn, baby girl," he laughed. "Look, I'll call you tomorrow."
"Alright. Love you, miss you."
"Love and miss you more," and the call ended.
I put my phone up, thinking about everything we talked about. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now. I'm beyond excited for the baby, but I didn't have that choice when it came to when and where and I don't think I can get over that. I know I will though.
I know I'll get over it because I love Jahseh. As exaggerated, we are very much in love and he wanted to keep me to himself. He easily already had that. Jah made sure he would still have me when he returned. Even if his heart was split between two people.
"Azariah!" I sit up on the couch and Ski walks over. He sets a plastic bag on my lap. I open it and see prenatal vitamins.
"Thanks," I crack a small smile. "I was just about to get these," I yawned. Ski smiled too, until he took a closer look at me.
"Riah what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your eyes are bloodshot and you got bags underneath them. Did you stay up waiting for X to call?" He figured out. I roll my eyes.
"That's not good, mamas. Come on," he lifted me into his arms and I clung to him, wrapping my legs around his waist.
"I'm taking you to bed and we're going to sleep okay?" I shrug. He soon set me down in his bed before climbing in next to me. I cuddled up to him and he held me while I wait for him to go to sleep first.
"I'm not sleeping until you do, Riah." He chuckled. I rolled my eyes and huffed. Fine.
I turn away from him and close my eyes with an attitude. His arm falls over my waist, pulling me closer. I would prefer if he didn't, but he wouldn't do anything out of line to his brother like that.
I pretend to fell asleep thinking about the baby; who he or she would look like, how they would act, what their voice might sound like.
I laid there for some time until I was sure Ski was sleeping before getting up and going into Jahseh's room. I showered and changed clothes, listening to his songs so it'd feel like he was in there with me like the night after my- our first time.
I lay on his bed, hugging his pillow. Naturally, I start thinking again. How am I supposed to tell my brother? Will Jah even be there when I give birth?
I need some sleep.
