1 year later
Jahseh
"Aye! Y'all been amazing to me tonight and I want to thank everybody for this opportunity to share my passion with you! I'm forever grateful to all my fans! I love you, Goodnight!" I closed out the show, sweaty and full of adrenaline.
After the meet and greet I went straight home. I drove back the whole four hours by myself thinking about all the things I usually think about.
I often wonder about my consciousness and what state of mind I'm in. But I can't let my mind travel to think about somebody really important; two people. If I did, I'd go back on an unhealthy bender trying to locate them.
Due to me touring, we broke up. I still remember her predicting the exact event. I didn't want to leave my child, but a couple friends said it might have been Ski's. Ever since they told me that, I didn't trust the both of them.
How could I?
Eventually, I fell out with both of them. I couldn't take it anymore. I saw Ski a couple of months ago at Rolling Loud. I was already pissed that day and seeing him didn't help. I still told him I loved him and gave him a hug. Other than that, we didn't talk at all. I miss my brother. I miss my girl. I miss my son.
Not a lot of people know about Zahir. In order to know about Zahir, you had to know his mother and she's still a soft subject. She'll always be my soft spot. My family is my weakness. That girl isn't just some girl I was with, she's family.
As I was saying, I don't like to think about them. But I can now. I found her. I've found them both. Sadly, they indeed were staying in Manhattan, in Stokeley's apartment until he came back from tour. I heard he'll be touring for a long time, though.
Now I'm contemplating if I should even bother. I mean, the boy has my whole name basically, so it'd be pretty fucked up to name their kid after me if they fucked with each other like that. Deep down, I have a gut feeling that it's not what I think and I need to go get my family back.
My mama still mad at me for letting her leave and not finding her. She doesn't think they have anything going on but won't give me a good reason why she thinks that.
My plotting was interrupted when I pull up into my gated driveway. I parked next to my van and walked in the house for most of my animals to meet my at the door. My dogs came and one of my cats. The rest are lazy as fuck.
I take a seat on my couch, holding my doggy Sora to my chest. I started reminiscing about when I first met her. Azariah was something special with her freckles and her braces and bomb ass weed. She intrigued my whole being and made me question why I didn't meet her earlier.
You know what? Fuck. This.
I pick up my phone and quickly look for the right contact number. I call them and wait for them to pick up.
Ring...
Ring...
Ring...
Ri-
"Hello?"
"Yeah, Gabe? It's X. How are you?"
"X? What's up, man? I fucking missed you, dawg."
"Man I missed you, too, nigga. Shit been crazy lately. That's actually why I was calling."
"Oh yeah? You need to talk some stuff out?"
"No, no. I- ... I know you're still on tour with Stoke. I've been thinking about this shit non stop lately. Can you please, please, give me her number? You know who I'm talking about."
"Woah, Jah-"
"Please?" My voice cracked a little bit. "I really need to see them, talk to them. I'm doing all this shit at these charities and I feel like shit not being able to keep my own family secure. Can you just please, give me her number?"
He paused for a bit while tears pooled in my eyes. "Fine," he sighed. ".Don't tell anyone I gave it to you. I'm texting it to you now."
"Thank you so much, Gabe. I'll never be able to repay you. I love you."
"Love you too, bro. Good luck." We hung up and I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding in. My whole world just got a little bit brighter.
Thank you, fucking Gabe.
The text soon sent and I wasted no time calling it. It started to ring as I got more and more nervous. I put it on speaker to help ease my nerves. I heard a click, indicating the phone was answered and some moving around.
"Hello?" A painfully familiar voice came from my phone.
When I was about to respond, I heard what sounded like a small kid crying. There was only one person that could be. "Uh, Hello?" I responded back. There was a decent moment of silence.
"Who is this?" I knew she would ask this and I wasn't prepared. I wanted to so bad.
"A-Azzy," My voice cracked. I broke. A tear slid from my eyes. I'm scared shitless right now. "It's me."
The other line is silent for while, apart from the loud whining. "X? Is this you?"
"Jahseh." I correct her. "Yes. It's me."
"Please talk to me," I continue.
I can't lose her again. She kept me so sane. I've done some fucked up shit before I met her. That was the reason we separated in the first place. On top of my past, while she was holding me down and I was in jail, I was still talking to my ex, Cinthia. I was in love with three girls at once and only one girl was really there for me through everything: Azariah.
The thought of her not wanting me to see my child, or just completely ignoring me all together, makes me severely sick to my stomach.
"What took you so long?"
