Noise. Noise. People. Hoes. More Noise. Hennessy?
Seh Seh told me to behave myself but he was doing the complete opposite, been messing with me since we parked. He was supposed to be getting some light drinks but he insisted he either stay where I was or have me follow him. He won't let me leave his sight, not that I want to.
"Fuck baby, come here." He grasps my arm and pulls me from a crowd of people. We walk through a door with a narrow hallway. Next thing I know I'm being pushed against the wall, my leather jacket falling from my shoulders. His mouth attacks mine in the hungriest kiss we've shared since the last time we made love.
"You know we gotta wait right," he pulls away briefly to explain. I pull back when he starts kissing me again.
"Baby! What you do all that for?" I scrunched my face at him in anger.
"You so perfect. Come back," he pulls my waist into him and lifts my leg up to his waist. "You already know what's goin down when we leave. I'm tryna save you baby, don't you like walking and shit? Enjoy that shit while you can, Azzy. Real shit." He grinded himself in between my open legs.
"So we waiting or no? Cause I'm fine either way."
"Yes you are, mamas."
•••
"Did Billie text you?" I had drank about three or four shots which is unfortunately not shit to me. I'd have to keep going. Plus Seh was spacing out my drinks so I can't get fucked up if I wanted to.
"Yes, baby. Everybody is asleep. Yumey keeps waking up so he's downstairs with her. He's usually the first one down and he stays down. You think he anxious or something? My baby prolly stressed."
"It's okay baby. Zahir was the same way. It's just because we're not around. Xiora doesn't seem to give a fuck so that's fortunate for Billie," I laughed. He smiled down at me and nodded.
"Azzy, you drunk?"
"Shit, no but I drank."
"Aight you tryna dip soon?" He stood up and walked up closer to me.
"Yeah I'm with that, you okay?" Jahseh gets paranoid as fuck every time we leave the house, naturally. But the vibe in hear really stinks. And it stinks.
"Mmhm. I'm chillin," he started hitting hit lil puff bar. My baby was a nicotine addict but it's okay. There're worse things he could be addicted to.
"Okay baby. Ion wanna finish this drink, no more. We can do the dash right now." I leave my glass on the counter. He finishes it and helps me off the stool even though his short ass had to hop down a little too.
"Aye who the fuck she think she is?" I could hear a female voice goin off somewhere close by.
"For real! Y'all got me big bent on dogs, binky!" I heard another female. I look around, still following Jahseh out the door.
"This motherfucker want her ass beat?" I look to my left, hearing this voice so coherently now. It was almost too late.
All I saw was her shoes fly off with two hard kicks and she walked up on me with a quickness. But I can get with this quickness, I done this too many times.
"Bitch," She got two good hits off me but after that I was sparked beyond her control. And my ole tall ass platform shoes Jah told me to put on. Good choice, papas.
I swung my fist in her face, feelin my knuckles rattle her teeth, then her jaw, her temple. Boom. Once I had her on the ground, it was over. I'll be damned if this bitch get blood on my new dress. We gon handle this without all that extraness. Her ass was eventually out like a light. Ah, love puttin my kids to sleep. Who the fuck is that?
I look around trying to find Seh Seh and seen him pushing- throwing some bitch, most likely her friend, in the opposite direction. Fully aware that Jah don't hesitate to smack a bitch, I snatched him up real quick and we left. I kept thinking that they looked familiar but I definitely don't know them hoes.
"Niya, aye you straight? Who the fuck is they?" He grabbed my arm when we made it outside.
"Hell if I know, every time I leave the house I be with you," I complained back. I ain got no fuckin friends.
"Aight so you tryna have bro nem spin the block one more time or you tryna leave this shit loose?" He pointed a thumb behind him to gesture the two girls. I shrugged. I got this small little nostalgic feeling of being uncontrollable.
"Whatever you feel like doing, baby. I couldn't care less if they lived to see the next sun or if they skulls get popped. You ready to go, right?" I slid my hand down his forearm and intertwined our fingers. He started smiling real hard and nodded as we continued walking to the car.
"I'll drive. You have my juul?" He tilts his head like a lil puppy, a trait that was carried down to my first infant son.
"No but I have this other one. You want it, daddy?" I lift my little bag I kept on me.
"Yes, thank you baby." He pecked my lips three times and took the bag from me swiftly. Jahseh is my entire life. Him and our babies. They make me want to paint a million pictures and every single one of them will be about how I love them. I love him more than I think I could ever love myself or anyone.
But something was always off. Not badly, but Jah knew how I felt about myself. Something tells me a lot of his reasoning for approaching me has to do with how much hold he could have on me. I was asking for somebody to control me, and he was itching for just that person. But that's what makes us so happy. Not perfect, but happy.
Something else told me that tonight was going to be just like all that long ago, when his hold was all there was. Yes, I was in love and I still am but his hold. That's before the love, before anything.
His hold was in the car to our first party together, and the remainder of our first night. My first night. His hold was bringing me back to him. His hold gave us two more children. And he's not letting go anytime soon.
