Is he really a bad boy? [English]

~Chapter 51~

Three weeks post-Maxim, how Mia liked to call it, we both sat in school in the English lesson.
He hasn't been in school the whole weeks. I haven't heard a single word from him the past three weeks. I still felt the same as I did before but I tried to suppress my feelings as much as I could. Mia and Jake were constantly complaining about my bad mood and how unmotivated I was and especially about the fact that I wasn't eating much. But my appetite was gone.

"Veronica can I speak to you after this lesson?", my teacher asked me in the middle of the lesson.
"Uhhh", it came from the whole class.
"Okay", I said and ignored the others, who most likely thought that it was something bad that I did.
"What does she want from you?", Mia asked me whispering. I shrugged and kept writing into my notebook. The lesson drew out and I couldn't wait for it to finally end.
"I'll wait outside", Mia said before she left the room, I stopped at Mrs Blair's desk.
"Have I done something?", I asked her.
"No. No. If I'm being honest it isn't even about you, why I wanted to talk to you", she said and put her bag on the desk, "it is about Maxim" Hearing his name my chest started to hurt badly.
"He wasn't in school the past few weeks and the exams will start next week. And I've noticed that you are close, that's why I thought that you'd know if he's well and if something may have happened."
"To be honest I don't know where he is. I mean of course I hope he's fine but we don't have any contact anymore.", I answered truthfully.
"Really? I thought that you are a couple"
"We were. But erm.."
"Oh yeah I understand. I'm sorry that I bothered you", she apologized.
"It's fine. Can I go now or do you want anything else?"
"No that's everything. Thank you for your time."
"Alright. Bye", I said and smiled at her with a fake smile.

"What was it about?", Mia attacked before I could even leave the room.
"She found a notebook and thought it was mine because the writing looked similar to mine", I lied to avoid any drama.
"She could've asked that in front of everyone though"
"Let's go", I said and left without waiting for a response.
"How are you planning to celebrate your birthday?", Mia asked me, "I think a giant pool party at yours would be nice or-"
"I'm not going to celebrate my birthday", I interrupted her. She abruptly stopped and looked at me flabbergasted.
"What? But why? You are going to be 18 just once in your life"
"Yeah and 19 only once and 20 only once and so on. Nothing special."
"Of course it is special! You are going to be of age finally! Besides that, we'll invite some cute boys and maybe there'll be someone you'd like", she said excited and started wiggling her eyebrows.
"No damn way", I made it clear and opened the entrance door. Mia and I left the school and made ourselves on our way home.
"You are saying that now but as soon you will see them you'd like someone."
"I don't want to get to know someone new, alright?"
"But why?"
"You know exactly why, Mia"
"But-"
"Mia. I don't want and am not going to celebrate my birthday!", I gave her an ultimatum and she finally quit talking about it.
My birthday was in three days. And about everyone was more excited about it than I was. I was never a fan of birthdays and the attention that was on one. Especially now I'd rather do everything else but celebrating.
He wouldn't be there.

The next day after school I drove over to 'Barbara's Café'.
It was very spontaneous and rash. But right now she was the only one who knew him the best.
"Hello"
"Hello, sweetheart! How can I help you?", the old lady behind the counter asked me.
"Erm...Is Barbara maybe here?", I sounded definitely more nervous and desperate now than I was when I decided to come here and started to overthink my decision.
"Yes. One moment please", she asked and called for Barbara. She then appeared seconds later, wearing an apron and a towel over her shoulder.
"Veronica! It's so great to see you", she welcomed me happy.
"Do you may have some time for me, Ma'am?", She looked at me wondering at first but smiled shortly after and said: "Have a seat, I'll be there in just a moment"
I walked over to the backmost corner of the café and sat down on one of the many different chairs and tables. There were some guest here but compared to the last time I was here it was pretty much empty. Barbara came to me with a tray with two cups filled with hot coffee and two plates with apple pie on them. She put the tray on the table and took a seat in front of me.
"You want to talk with me about Maxim, don't you?", she said and I had to gasp for air instinctively. I was surprised at how straight forward she was.
"Was he here?"
She nodded. "About two weeks ago."
"How did he look?"
"Tired. He had very dark circles. Exactly like you do right now" I had to swallow hard.
"What happened? I couldn't get one word out of his mouth", she put her soft warm hands on mine and looked worried into my eyes. "Did he hurt you? I know how he can be when he's angry"
What does she mean?
"No. He broke up with me", I said how it was.
"Oh. I'm so sorry", she said to me, "Do you know why he did it? Did he said anything?"
I shook my head and looked at our hands because I knew I'd start to cry at any moment.
"He wanted a serious relationship. But he never showed any feelings or emotions and didn't let me show mine", it started to come out of me all of sudden, "actually it shouldn't surprise me why it didn't work out. How should it work out if he built a wall and wouldn't let me pass it? I said 'I love you' but he didn't say it back nor did he respond in any way. He just left" I sobbed and she stroke softly over my hand.
"The whole time I am trying not to freak out and to accept the fact that it's over. But I love him you know? And I don't want it to be over. What should I do?"
"Wait. Give him some time.", I heard her quiet voice saying.
"What do you mean by that, Ma'am?"
"His personality is the reason for the way he is. He built that wall since he was a little boy so he wouldn't get hurt again. Like he got hurt when his parents died. A little boy that is alone all of sudden. He was there when his best friend got shot right in front of his eyes. He is afraid"

My life is pretty fucked up, isn't it?, I heard him saying in my head.

"Afraid of what?"
"Of you. Of his and your feelings. He's afraid of what might will happen if he would allow his feelings. Of what will happen if he would lose you, too. He's distancing himself right when he has the feeling that he might get hurt again"
"Did something like this happen before?", I asked her.
"No. In all those years that I've known him, he never brought a girl with him here let alone called someone his girlfriend.", she took a sip out of her cup, "I think that's one of the reasons why he is so overwhelmed with it. He doesn't know how it is to be in a relationship."
"He made a pretty good job, though", I admitted.
"Max has a very big heart, he doesn't know it but he has one"
"Ma'am, do you think everything will be good again?"
"Yes. You are doing him good. Sooner or later he will understand it too and let you go through his wall", she smiled at me cheering and I did the same.
It felt great talking to someone who knew him. Someone who kind of understood his mind. I couldn't talk with Mia or Jacob about him since they were ready to fight him.
"Eat!", Barbara said and pushed the plate over to me.
"Thank you but I have no appetite", I declined, "Can I ask you one more question, Ma'am?"
"If you will finally stop calling me Ma'am and start to eat, of course"
"Deal", I said and shoved a fork with apple pie inside my mouth.
She looked at me pleased and waited for my question.
"Ma'am..sorry. You asked me if he hurt me and that you knew how he can be if he's angry. What exactly did you mean with that?"
Since she said that I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I really hope you'll like it xx