Stranger

Lin

I didn't sleep well last night. I never do when I'm angry. Nora was thirteen years old, so I didn't think I'd have to worry about her sneaking out of the house and drinking alcohol for a few more years. But, she'd proven me wrong. I knew that she wasn't going to be an easy kid to deal with, but this was really troubling.

I was up early, and went to the kitchen to start the coffee maker. I tried to have a calm morning, so when Francisco woke up at 8, I happily went in to get him up. I talked to him as I changed his diaper and got him dressed for the day. He'd moved on to some solid food, so I found a jar in the pantry and set him in his high chair. We were having a nice conversation when Vanessa walked out, looking fresh.

She kissed us both on the head as she poured herself some coffee and got the morning paper. She was one of the few generation X'ers, or whatever we were, that still actually read a real newspaper. It was part of her morning routine. Sebastian joined us soon after, a tornado of energy. He barely ate any of his Cheerios because he was too excited to play with his toys.

I brought Francisco over to the floor and set him down so he could play a little, and Vanessa folded the paper back up.

"So..." she began. "Nora."

I nodded and took another sip of my coffee. "Nora."

"You scared her last night," she pointed out.

"She scared me," I said. Truthfully, it broke my heart to see her cowering last night when I lost my temper. I could never hit her, or any of my kids. I don't even spank Sebastian when he acts up. It reminded me that she'd had a very different childhood than my own.

"Lin, you need to talk to her and reassure her that you're not going to hit her," she told me. "I talked to her last night, but she needs to hear it from you."

"I will," I told her. "What do we do about this, though? I don't know how to parent a teenager."

"Well, she needs some pretty severe consequences, and she needs to understand how she put herself in danger," Vanessa decided.

"She seems to think she's pretty street smart, which she is, but she's still only a thirteen year old girl," I said. "She could easily get taken advantage of if she's not careful."

Vanessa nodded in agreement. "She was reckless. I think she should be grounded for a month, and have everything she cares about taken away – skateboard, phone, TV."

I nodded in agreement, tipping back the last of my coffee. "I'm gonna go wake her up in a few minutes," I told her, pushing myself up to standing.

Turns out I didn't have to, because we heard the sound of her bedroom door open, then running, then puking in the toilet. Nothing like a natural consequence. She wrenched for another minute or so before flushing the toilet. The sink ran and she wandered out to the kitchen, looking miserable.

Nora got out her Cap'n Crunch, her breakfast of choice, and slowly began eating.

"Nora, how are you feeling this morning?" Vanessa asked from the couch.

"Like death," she admitted.

As she finished off her cereal, I still hadn't said anything to her. I was going to have to lay down the law, and she wasn't going to like it. I braced myself for an argument.

Nora got up and put her dish in the sink and I took the opportunity to walk to the kitchen. "After you shower, meet me in your room," I told her. "We need to talk."

She sighed and moseyed down the hall, taking her time in the shower. About half an hour later, she was dressed in some track pants and a t-shirt. She came out to the kitchen to get some water and I walked over. I tapped her on the elbow and told her to go to her room.

Slowly, she walked down the hall and I followed her. She sat down on the bed as I closed the door behind me.

"So, Nora, where do we start?" I asked, sitting on her desk chair. "With the lying, the sneaking out, or the underaged drinking?"

"Let's start with that's what a normal teenager does," she retorted.

"You're only thirteen. And I don't want it happening again. You'll have plenty of time for that in college. There's no reason to do it when you're thirteen."

"I've done it before," she pointed out.

"When you were with your mom," I corrected her. "She ran a pretty loose reign, but things are different here. It is not okay to lie, sneak out, drink, or to be around boys unsupervised," I counted them off on my fingers.

She didn't respond and crossed her arms.

"I need to make sure you understand something, Nora," I went on. "There are a lot of guys out there that aren't good people. They see a young girl drinking alcohol, and they see easy prey. You're lucky you didn't get hurt. Do you understand that?"

"I was being careful," she told me.

"You're naïve," I told her honestly. "Guys are a lot sneakier than you think."

She didn't argue with me, thankfully.

"So, consequences," I began. "You're grounded for a month, and,"

"A month?!" She instantly protested.

"Yes, a month," I clarified and then continued. "No skateboard, no phone, no TV."

"What am I supposed to do?" She asked.

"Study," I told her, smiling. "You've got lots of missing assignments still out. In fact, why don't you get started on them today."

"No thank you," she mumbled as she laid down on her unmade bed. I grabbed her phone and her charger, then her skateboard and locked them up. She was not going to be a happy camper for a while.

"One more thing," I told her, sitting back down. "I need you to know that I will never, ever hit you. Okay? It's not in my blood. Do you understand that?"

She nodded, still frowning. I stood up and left her to mope. I joined Vanessa out in the living room, where she was holding Francisco, just cuddling. He was chattering away, alert and happy.

"How'd it go?" Vanessa asked.

"Fine I guess," I told her, collapsing onto the couch next to her. "She doesn't seem to think she did anything that wrong."

Vanessa sighed. "She's going to be handful, Lin," she said, rubbing her forehead.

"Yep," I agreed. "But she's mine, so she's worth it."