RACHEL'S REVIEWS

You Had Me At Hello by @awaedaily

|Title|
I really like the title. It has a real Shibert vibe to it and is very original.

|Cover|
The artwork is quite nice. Readers are probably more likely to click on the story if it has the actors from the show on it, but seeing as your story us set years in the future and is inspired by the book as well, the image is quite fitting.

|Summery|
Interesting. Provides you with the info you need to know as well as some intriguing little blurbs from the story. It isn't really necessary to say that "Anne isn't 13 anymore" you can just put that she is twenty. No need to put both. 

|Plot|
The main plot line seems to be Shirbert. Anne and Roy's relationship is also a very prominent storyline, but it ties in with Shirbert since Gilbert is mentioned or alluded to in most Anne and Roy scenes. The Shirbert reunion is very dramatic. I understand that Gilbert has been gone for five years, but I find it very hard to believe that Anne would cry and get upset the way she did. Yes it's possible to have feelings for a long time, and I'm sure Gilbert often thought of Anne throughout those years but it's been five years. Even if they did think of each other while they were apart, they would be thinking of their memories of them and things will be a lot different then when they last saw each other. Their reunion would be better more tense and awkward and unsure, and less teary and dramatic. This might be a personal opinion, but I felt that "I love you" was used a bit to hastily. As I've been saying, it's been five years. While I fully believe Gilbert is in love with the idea of Anne he has in his head, I find it unlikely he would voice it, and I'd like to see him get to know older Anne before saying it. But like I said, that might be a personal preference, but the "I love you" would be a lot more meaningful if it was used after some time. And also, Anne doesn't really act like it's a big deal that he said I love you? But if you think it's the right time for him to say I love you, go for it!
I really liked how their reunion led to them arguing and "breaking their truce" so to speak. You haven't sacrificed Anne's fiery personality and I appreciate that. But I would've liked the conflict between them to have lasted longer, especially as Shirbert is the main plot line. They make up like the next chapter and it's kinda anti-climatic. I would've liked to see more of a build up and a more dramatic conclusion.
I really enjoyed the news paper/mud scene. It was cute without being cheesy or overly romantic.
Overall your plot is interesting without being complicated and I like it.

|Characters|
Anne is written well. She's fiery and complex and I really don't have anything negative to say about the way you've portrayed her, though I really don't believe she'd cry at Gilbert's return to Avonlea.
Gilbert is also well written. Roy is despicable as he's meant to be. I think you are doing great with them. I really liked how Anne mentioned how Roy doesn't call things by what she calls them but then Gilbert remembers the names she's given them even after being gone for so long. This was such a subtle and clever way to show that Gilbert is meant for Anne. I LOVED that.
Now I know Marilla is fairly old, but five years isn't so long that Marilla would be so fragile unless she had some serious decline in health. She seems like she could break at any second. If Marilla's frailty is leading to some health storyline, maybe give some backstory as to why she's so frail all of a sudden?
Now Diana . . . Poor Diana! Oh my goodness! I feel like Diana's death should effect Anne more? Yes it is mentioned several times and stated how much Anne misses Diana, but we don't really see how much she misses Diana. Anne would be torn apart by her friends death. I'm also not entirely sure how Diana's death benefits the story.
Overall pretty good with characters. I like how you've mixed in characters from the books and show in unique and creative ways.

|Originality|
Most awae fanfics take place when Anne is young so your story is certainly unique in that aspect. It doesn't feel like any other awae fanfic I've read. Some of the plot lines might be predictable but I think you're definitely set as far as originality goes.

|Writing|
I have one big thing to say this and then a couple small ones. Overall your writing it good. It can be a little awkward and jolty at times but that is something you will work out with time and practice. Your writing is easy and enjoyable to read.
My biggest recommendation is DO NOT SWITCH POV! I know you said you did it for fun, and that's awesome, and it was only one chapter, but switching POV is NOT enjoyable to read in anyway. Now switching from first person to third person within the same book is merely a little lazy, but switching POV between person and character within the same chapter can be unpleasant to read. It really interrupts the flow of the story and the readers have readjust their mindset. I know it's tempting to switch POV so you can get those different perspectives on the story, but I strongly recommend sticking to a single POV. If you are writing in third person it is okay to change character POV, and if you are writing first person it's okay to change chapter by chapter as long as it's clearly stated but don't switch mid chapter. Just be consistent
My second recommendation is to be careful with what you use instead of said. I've seen it said before that "said is dead"and I've also seen people say not to use too many synonyms for said. I don't entirely agree with either. Said is NOT dead, but sometimes other words are needed instead because they are more descriptive and get the point across quicker. But just be careful with what you are replacing said with. Sometimes the words you used didn't exactly fit the situation and were a bit to dramatic.
Overall I think your writing has lots of potential and the few problems I found will work themselves out the more you write. So keep up the good work!

|Overall|
I like the setting and how it takes place five years in the future, and I also really like the sense of nostalgia coming from Anne. It's very fitting. The storyline and writing are a bit jolty in a few places, but I really enjoyed it nonetheless. It's a very sweet story so far and I definitely recommend checking it out. I will tag the author in the comments below.

Reviewed by: FlittyFleeFly