Wave after Wave

chapter 17

"please leave a message..." This was the second voice mail Jaxon had sent in the last week since the happening with Julia. He had no idea I had seen him and had been calling me ever since wanting to know what was wrong. I hadn't answered any of them, though. I know it's childish from me to act this way but I just feel used and stupid. He had made me think he liked me. What did he not like about me. I was standing in front of the mirror and heard this voice in my head that had come up ever since last week telling me, "you're not good enough! Look at all the other girls. Why did you think that he would actually chose you over so many other, prettier girls. How stupid of you!
I closed my eyes and tried to get that voice out of my head. I walked into the bathroom to rince my face with cold water and, on my way there, I saw Jaxon's empty room. How a room could go from messy to sooo clean. I turned to the bathroom. My goal was to get my mind of Jaxon and to avoid him any way possible. I'll just pretend he doesn't even exist, though that was kind of hard since he was my stepbrother and now belonged to the family.

I washed my face and then walked downstairs to see where mom was.
She was sitting in the armchair next to the couch reading a book. As I walked down the stairs she looked up. "Hey hun, what's the matter. Did you cry?" "No, I'm fine." I didn't want her to know what's going on. She wouldn't understand. "Really? Cause you don't look fine." "I'm fine mom." All I needed right now was fresh air. "I'm gonna take a walk." "Okay." I went outside. Ah, yes. That felt good. I took in the air. I decided to walk to the park. "Good afternoon, Hayley." Mrs Watson, a very friendly old lady living next to us, looked up from her garden work and waved. "Hi," I said smiling back.

In the park it was nice and quiet. Every now and then people walked through but otherwise there were only the birds and me. I sat down on a nice green bench and started watching a bird family. The parents happily brought their little baby birds some bugs. They looked so happy and peaceful and didn't have any problems at all. "Is this spot taken?" I looked up. Infront of me stood a very good looking British-speaking young man pointing at the spot next to me. I moved over. "No," I said not quite sure what to do. He sat down and took a deep sigh. I leaned back and started thinking about how life would be without boys. I tried not to think about Jaxon, but that didn't work. As soon as the scene at the beach appeared in my head a tear rolled down my cheek. "Are you okay?" The guy next to me asked. I quickly wiped it away and hastily said " yeah, I'm fine." He frowned. "Are you sure about that." "I'm fine," I started saying but tears started rolling down and sure enough I started crying. The man got outta tissue and handed it to me. "Thanks," I snuffled. Shortly after that I found myself telling the guy everything that was troubling me. He was an amazingly good listener.
After I had finished he said "wow, that's something. I once had the same problem that I didn't know in what relationship I was. That feeling kinda sucks, doesn't it." "Yes it does." Finally someone that understand me! He told me about his relationship and that he also had troubles. That's the reason why he came to the park. "I guess the park is the best place to go to when your really down. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Bryce, 22 years old." "Nice to meet you, I'm Hayley, 17, almost 18 years old." "Hayley. That's a beautiful name." "I guess." I've never thought about my name being 'beautiful'. I always thought it was an ordinary name.
"And you're 17? I wouldn't have thought that. You look a lot older." "Thanks, I don't get that a lot."
"If you need any help with stepbrothers or friends here's my number." He pulled out his phone and I gave him mine in order for him to type his number in. Then we switched.
"Okay, nice meeting you Hayley." Bryce stood up. "If you have any problems, call or text me. Gotta go, bye." I waved goodbye and watched him walk on and started thinking about our conversation. Wow, that was kinda nice. But did he mean 'call me' when I have a problem with Jaxon or 'call me' as in 'you're cute and I would like to take you out'? I would have to ask Maggy after I was finished being pissed at her.

For the next hour I just sat there and let my mind calm down from the whole carousel thing. Then I looked around. Was someone calling my name? I think I heard my name. Then: "there you are Hayley. What are you doing here and why aren't you calling me back?" Jaxon came towards me and sat down. I scooted in the opposite direction, farther away from him and looked in the opposite direction. "Hayley, what's the matter? What went wrong?"
Okay Hayley, I thought to myself. You're now gonna tell him what's going on. You got this!
I took a deep breath and looked at my 'enemy'. "Here's the thing. I saw you with Julia at the beach." "Oh, that." Jaxon slowly moved his head up and down. "You know what, it wasn't what you think it was." "So, you're saying you weren't making out with your Ex?" "Yeah, I was. But it didn't mean anything and I don't understand why you're pissed cause we weren't even together or anything." "I don't care! I thought you liked me. I thought that's why we had sex. I thought that's why you punched Ayden and I thought that's why you took me to the beach." Now Jaxon looked into the other direction. "I don't know why I did it Hayl. But I promise, it didn't mean anything!" "Promise is a big word that most can't keep, so I would watch out. For instance, Ayden promised me that he doesn't have feelings for Maggy after our breakup. And now their boyfriend and girlfriend. Do you even know how that feels!?" Jaxon looked at me and gently laid his hand on my leg. "That sucks!" I moved his hand off my leg. In every other situation I would've loved his hand on my leg but not today! I was really, super pissed.
"I know you hate me already but I actually came to tell you that I got a job offer in LA a week ago and I'm flying tomorrow. You don't have to say goodbye but I would like for you to take care of my apartment. I'll better go now. I have to pack."