[COMPLETED] the first ; 첫 (SVT Vernon X Reader)

-NOTICE, NOT AN UPDATE-

Hi, everyone.
Wattpad user seokjinniechuu here.
I'm about to tell y'all something I don't quite like myself.
I started this book November last year, for reasons I have told y'all in my Conversations section, if you ever even read those things. 😂😂 I've enjoyed my time here so far.

So, here's the catch.
For the last few months, right when, I think you've noticed, my updates became irregular, I've been having quite some trouble with myself.
My depression got bad /again/ and I started developing social anxiety. I can't do well with big crowds. And well, it's affected my quite deeply, seeing how I almost ended things last March, if not for some of my best friends who remain strong despite me losing the will to be.

That's the catch. That's why updates scarced. My mind can't really work well under those circumstances. I'm hoping you would understand. I was sorry, and I still am.

I hope I didn't have to tell you guys this, but my writing was a hobby. Something I do in my spare time. I am not paid to do this, and I don't demand to be. I also don't live only to 'update,' as some might sadly think. I, surprisingly, have developed a new life outside this account, ever since that slip last March. My friends have been keeping quite a close watch and hold on me, and I'm thankful. I can't afford losing myself again like that.

What I really wanna tell is, for the last months, for the last difficult months, I tried updating. I tried my best, given my circumstances. Please know that I did. But some comments have worn me thin, I guess.

What comments?

"Please update."

It isn't bad. I swear it isn't. I just- I have been doing this on my free time. Times when I don't do anything, times when I feel good enough and calm enough to let words flow from my mind to my fingers, unto your tiny screens. Times when I feel confident enough that people will want to read a piece of my heart, free from insecurities, free from pressure.

Sadly, those comments began giving me pressure. Sometimes, anxiety. This messed up brain of mine can't really choose, eh?

It all comes down to this: I'll be posting the LAST chapter once the 39th gets 300 reads, as promised. I'm gonna take a long ass Wattpad break, as long as my mind needs to calm down because I assure you all, this brain isn't calm right now. It's buzzing with the ugliest things once more, and I don't want my beloved characters messed up as well.

I love you all dearly, and I am really sorry. Most of you have really, really lovely and supportive, and I couldn't be more thankful. I love you all, again. Your support means so much to me, thank you all for the strength.

But I will be back. It's just a break, a hiatus, it won't be forever.

Sorry. Thank you all for everything.