Falling For Africa

23. UKUKONKOLA (Granting authority)

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Ukukonkola ~ a meal that is prepared for the groom by the bride’s parents. It is a meal that the groom eats at his in-law's house. 
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The news of Chanda's recovery had spread through the village  like a wildfire , and soon became the heart of every conversation.

There where rumours  , some  spread more nimbly than others . Some more uninformative and terrible than others . But like smoke , it did not last long before it died out  and people had almost  forgotten about the tragedy that  had befallen him  and those that did remember , could not work out the details of  what had exactly transpired. 

After two months , of anticipation and waiting ,The wedding preparations  carried on and everyone was almost back to their Jubilant mood , ready for the event to come, Ukukonkola. 

On this day, the  meal  that is prepared symbolized the authority that is given to the groom to make family decisions affecting his wife’s side of the family on behalf of elders in the bride’s family. The groom is allowed to make some decisions “without consulting” his in-laws. The bride’s family also declare their commitment to respect such decisions and to consider them binding. 

Africa Had woken up extra early ,to help her Nasenges  prepare for the event to take place the next day, Nema and Kasuba  , and as usually they where arguing .

" Lumanda  or Katapa... eyy MwanaSenge??.." , Kasuba said proudly .

" anything is fine with me ...." , she said quietly .

" You see Nema, Africa trusts me enough ....to choose for her ..."

" Kasuba... I'm starting to wonder if you know your MwanaSenge at all... " , she paused briefly.. studying Africa and continuing  , she added ,  "  ever since  she came back... her heart has been aching for one ... she has been here with us for a month   , but her spirit has been with him  the whole time .... " 

Her statement caused Africa to blush and run out of the room like  a child . And they all wondered what had caused her to react like that .

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The sun went down and soon the much anticipated day came . Africa's  mother and father's room had been cleaned specially for this occasion, and gifts had been arranged strategically  all over  for Chanda to find.

The Bakashana , danced on to sound of drums  lead by the Shimukombe singing .

"Katapila by two....

Katapila by two...
" .

Bambuya , stood waiting for him at the opening of the hut  . Upon seeing him she began circling  with an eloquent dance  and on the fifth circle she called out his name, " Chanda my Grandson ..!!"

"Bambuya.." , he replied .

" Today  we will give you  authority to make decisions on Behalf of the the Mulenga family.... you will now be rightfully recognised as the true man of the house ... Go into the hut and pick whatever you may like .."

And with that The Old lady moved out of the way and signalled for him to go in and he did so closing the door behind him .Bambuya remained outside dancing swiftly to the beating of the drums with the Bakashana , it was truly a special occasion .

In African Tradition, teenagers and adult children are not allowed to enter their parents’ bedroom, much less an in law’s! The parents’ bedroom is traditionally regarded as a sacred place for a son in law to enter. 

As Chanda entered the room, he moved over to the earthen bed removed the bedings just as the Shimukombe had instructed him . Beneath it , was an old guitar made from fine lion skin. This probably belonged to Africa's  father , he thought to himself .

Taking it into his hand he knelt on the earthen floor and peeped under the bed and  He found two small golden bracelets . He stretched  out his hand and grabbed them and moved over to the door and as he opened it the crowd outside cheered .

He threw up his hands in the air , exposing the things he had found  and then handed them over to the Shimukombe for safe keeping.

" VERY good my child... now we shall go to the sitting hut and you must do the same ...." and with that  she led the procession to the sitting hut .

Chanda looked at the sitting hut.  A fireplace sat burning  at the middle of the hut  which gave the room so much warmth . It was filled with many stools made of smooth animal skin and fur . He moved over to the stools and flipped them over and he found  several beads  under each of the stools  of exotic taste and he wore them  all . And walked outside and the crowd cheered again . Bambuya then led him to the cooking place and he was then allowed to eat whatever food he found there.

He was not expected to leave any left-overs. He was  to get all the food that remained and take it to his home after the initiation into Africa's home . 

The meal symbolized that Chanda was now  part of the family and  now regarded as one of their own children. He is even then allowed to  to personally tender a sick mother in law after this symbolic gesture. 

This is the last in the process, of all symbolic banquets for a groom from his in-laws. The ceremonies where  practiced to varying extents among Zambians of Bemba extraction.