Terrified.
Scared.
Frightened.
Shaking.
Wide eyes.
Tense arms and shoulders.
"Why are you terrified?"
Why am I terrified?
I'm terrified I'll slip up
Not say the right thing
Not calm you down in time
Not be there
Not be able to help
I'm terrified you'll leave
I'm terrified you'll cut me off
I'm terrified you'll cut everyone off
I'm terrified.
I'm so so scared
I'm terrified you'll leave and never come back.
I am scared.
I. Am. Terrifed.
There. I said it. I admit it.
Yes, I care about you more than I care about myself
More than my life
I know what you'll say,
Why
You shouldn't
Try not to
I'm sorry I scared you
I deserve this,
I'm terrified of that too.
Terrified that you'll truly and utterly believe you deserve this
I hate that you think you do
Past you and you now are two different people.
Its not your fault that you still hear it in your head,
You'd never act on it
That is what counts
I wish I could show you that
I'm terrified about the fact I can't
I'm terrified I'll say the wrong thing
I'm terrified you'll rip the one good thing in my life away thinking you deserve it
