The Secrets of Ellewood (Harry Potter)

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

For the past couple of days, I had been thinking about nothing other than Draco. He was constantly on my mind, occupying my thoughts and I couldn't help but wonder if I should make an effort in rebuilding our relationship. I knew one thing for sure: I was not going to tell Draco I might love him back. For three reasons. 1. I'm not even one hundred percent sure of my feelings yet, 2. we agreed to forget he ever said that and it would just bring up a topic that I'm still not quite ready to discuss, and 3. I think I might also have feelings for Josh. As long as Draco and I remained friends, I wouldn't have to choose.

Today was a Sunday, though, and I was bored out of my mind. So, I decided to talk to Draco. About what, I had no idea but I'm sure I'll make up something.

"Liv, where are you going?" Melia asked as I stood from my spot on the armchair beside her. We'd been reading for the past four hours while the others played a variety of games and I already finished one book and was half-way through another.

"To speak with someone."

Gasps came from the rest of the group. "Who? Draco?"

I stayed silent and Sammy squealed. "Yay! I miss Dralivia."

"Sam. First of all, what even is 'Dralivia'? And second of all, we're twelve. It's not like I'm gonna go down there single and then come back up married with two twin daughters or something. That's insane." Sammy rolled her eyes, laughing and I left the common room in search of Draco. Finally, I spotted him under the shade of a tree by the lake and walked over.

"Can I sit here?" He looked up at me and smiled, patting the empty spot beside him. I sat down and stared at the ground, unable to get the words out.

"Olivia? Is there something wrong?" His eyebrows furrowed and he placed a concerned hand on my shoulder.

"No. It's just..." I sighed, still not sure how I was supposed to say what I wanted to.

"It's just what?"

"Do you want to go down to the cottage today?" I blurted.

He started laughing, clutching his stomach and leaned back against the tree. "That's what you were trying to say? Really?"

"What's so funny?"

"You had so much trouble getting that out and I find it dumb because it's not like I would say no to hanging out with you." He shrugged, sitting back up.

"It's not dumb" I glared at him.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Yeah, I would love to go to the cottage today with you."

"Okay. Meet me in the clocktower courtyard in a half-hour."

_

After hiding our brooms in a nearby bush, the two of us walked inside, heading to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Soon enough, we had two mugs of warm cocoa and whipped cream in our hands and sat down on the couch. We sat there for a while, not saying anything just drinking our hot chocolate and I couldn't help but stare. I wondered if I should tell him that I loved him back. If I did, though, I would feel guilty for getting his hopes up before I even knew myself. I was pretty sure I did but what if that was just infatuation? I couldn't risk hurting him.
But how does he even know if he loves me?

"What?" He breathed out after a few minutes.

"Nothing. I just...you said you loved me?"

"We don't have to talk about that-"

"I want to. You said you loved me?" I repeated.

"Yes."

"We're twelve."

"So?"

"How do you even know what love is? How do you know that what you feel towards me is really love?" He stayed silent, thinking. Moments passed and finally, he answered.

"...I don't. You're right. We're so young and we don't really know anything. And I don't know what love is or if that's what I feel towards you. But I do know that my heart speeds up when I look at you. I know that my mood lifts when you walk into the room. You make dealing with my father bearable. You make me so happy and I love hanging out with you. If that's what love is then, yes, I love you."

_

Draco,

I know things have been a little rocky with us since that day in the hospital wing. And I know I've said this so many times before but I'm going to say it, again. We're only twelve. And you think you're in love with me. I've thought about it, though, and if what you described in the cottage earlier is exactly what I feel about you. So, if that really is what love is, then I love you.

Liv

Sighing, I crumpled up the piece of paper and tossed it into the bin which was pretty much overflowing at this point. I guess I write a lot of unsent letters. It's just all so frustrating; I had so much to say to Draco but I couldn't say any of it and I wasn't sure why, anymore. Now, I was sure of my feelings towards him so what else was holding me back?

I thought about telling all of this to Jacob but something stopped me. I was pretty sure he still liked me and I didn't want to hurt him. Then, it hit me.

I can't tell Draco or Jacob any of this because I feel the same way for both of them.

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