Secret Star

Chapter Nine

Bizzle's POV

"Elizabeth, its time to go! Hurry up!" I yell into her room. She is a beautiful 10 year old, she is always wearing a smile no matter what. She is the one who held everything together in our family. Today I am taking her to the park, I know that she loves to swing and she hasn't been there in awhile.

"I'm coming!" she yells back.

Once she gets in the car we buckle up and take off. This day is going to be perfect. I get to spend it with my little sister, mom and dad are away on business so we can do whatever we want.

As I near the intersection my light is green, we almost make it through until... CRASH. I look in the back seat and see Elizabeth's face, that beautiful smile of hers is gone.

She is screaming, fear in her voice.. "Justin help me! Help me Justin!" I try to move to her, but I can't because I'm stuck in this stupid seat belt. I hear sirens, "Help her, help Elizabeth!!" I scream to the fire-fighter trying to get me out.

"We can't yet, we have to get you out first. Its okay, just breathe." he says to me. Just breathe? My sister could die!! He gets me out and I look in at little Beth, tears streaming down her face. She keeps screaming for help. Dear God let her be okay, please God! Then the screaming stops, I open my eyes looking into the car I see my sister's limp body for the last time.....

I wake up screaming remembering that horrible day, I hate myself for that day. Why did I have to leave the house, if I would of stayed home Beth would still be alive.

I've always loved music, but when Beth died I began to write more and sing more. That's when I started recording and uploading onto the Internet. It was a way for me to express myself. I also turned to girls, I regret this though because I know I broke a lot of hearts. I always liked the girls, but I just couldn't let myself be in love. I didn't deserve love, not after what happened with Beth. I would get close to the girls and just fuck them, for me it felt good and eased the pain, I knew I couldn't stay with them though so I would leave them right after.

Then I think of Rylee, I never expected to find someone like her. She reminds me so much of Beth, I could see the innocence on her face the night I ran into her. I felt so bad for that. Geez, all I do is hurt people. I want to make things right with Rylee. I felt bad the day Emily pushed her in the hall. Rylee doesn't deserve that, I don't want my past to hurt her too.

I look over at the time, its 5a.m. I might as well just stay up. Its Saturday morning and I wake up in the hotel room in NYC. Scooter told me I have to promote this single myself, I'm still trying to figure out how I can do that.

I just got an idea, I can talk to my fans, but change my voice.

"Hey Scooter!" I say as he walks into my room, "I have an idea!"

He looks over at me, "Well, what is it?"

"We can record my voice talking to the fans, but use the computer to change it a bit, not giving it away too much."

"I guess we can do that, but Justin you are going to have to tell them who you are eventually."

"I know, I'm just not ready yet." I try to stay calm, I don't want to upset him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

We record my voice and send it to every radio station possible. Now I can only hope that they will play it and make my fans happy. I do want them to know who I am, but I cannot handle the fame right now.

The flight back to Stratford is always better. I think about Rylee and our date tonight. I want to do something special for her. When I texted her last night she said I have some explaining to do, that makes me nervous.. I'm guessing its about the whole Emily situation and I am not looking forward to that. Why did I have to make so many bad decisions over the past year?