Chapter 1 - First steps

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The winter this year is not as cold as the ones that I have experienced in my 24 year of life time. It feels more like a chilly autume night rather than a day in december. I liked it but I wished to have some snow soon. Snow always left this big impression on me. The way the snow flakes dance in the air and settle down on my coat made me smile everytime. Vivedly I remember that a few years back I started to chase my life dream more actively and go all in. This was what I wanted for a long time and I stopped pretending that I would be happy in a 9 to 5 job after I graduated. This life was not cut for me and I walked into the nearest studio that I found and applied to be a producer. Of course they did not hire me because I had no real job experience but I was hired as a jumper to help whereever. In my time working there I improved my skills but what they did not expect was that I was a talented producer. Music always had a huge part in my life. It was my family and friends because I grew up with none of them.

People around me always fitted in and blended in well with the crowd but not me. I was a rebel with ink all over my body which I could hide from day to day with high neck jumpers and long jeans. What was different about me and the rest was that I liked to express myself with art which is the reason for my dozen and dozens of small tattoos. They were hallmarks in the life of mine and they reminded me of memories that made me into who I am. Not alot of people knew about them except the landlandy that owned the apartment that I lived in since she saw me in a dress at home. Her reaction was different to the ones that usally saw from them-she smiled at me and said they fitted me well. Society outside was different. I did not fit the ideal type of woman in South Korea and eventhough artist especially here in Seoul brought more acceptance to tattoos women with them are still frowned upon. It was ridicilious because even in these days you are judged on the gender and appearance that you present. I myself was very athletic, loved to eat healthy and without the tattoos I might be just an ordinary woman in a big crowd but I like who I am. I say what I think, I make music to express myself, I am proud of my tattoos on my body but still I hide them in my professional life because I need to survive, I was the top graduate from my art university and buisness university, I am smart but I liked to be the outcast. All this time I have never met anyone that truely understood me so I rather kept a superficial relationship with people around me. I went through alot in my life and that made me unqiue because I needed to proof myself and them that I was worth the world and all that was in it. So I fighted each day in and out for my dreams but I did not realize that I was not losing my initial goal. My goal was to change the perception of woman in the music industry and be a prime example that success correlates to your talent only and not just gender. 2 yeard ago after I graduated and started to work for a entertainment company I realised that the system was so broken that all the rescue methods available would be useless. It was the 15th of December 2019 when I was listining to some new music on soundcloud that one of the schoolbands that had recorded with me recommeneded me that changed my life. I was on my way to get a coffee but stopped as I listedn to the first verse of that artist called " Underground producer". I froze and stood in the middle of the sidewalk and listended to the truth she sang about-the industry was broken and we all still stand here and clapp our hands. She was a no name and had put out an entire album that caused a stirr in the industry. In the next days she was all over the media and somehow she reminded me of A.J founder of REV entertainment. These women paved the way for alternative and more healthy lables but you can not change a system overnight. Later on the true identity of " Underground producer" was reavealed and she was no other than GRAIL the golden producer of AOMG. This caused some backlash but her bosses stood by her and said that art was made to say what you want to say and she was brave enough to do so. No wonder that these two power women became rolemodels to everyone out there but it was them against the world. The world could be cruel and heartless but they still shined. Listening to that one song of her made me realize that I too have a dream and that I lost track of it and settled for a normal life but I was never normal. On that day I quite my well-paid job and went back to my roots which was making music and not managing meetings. I wrote my dream down on a piece of paper and put it up in my flat and look at it everyday so I would never forget where my true passion was.

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