The library

September 15th 2003

Those two big brown eyes stared at me and seemingly burrowed into my soul. I had been avoiding him for two weeks just to meet him on a dark rainy night whilst completely lost? I cursed under my breath.

"Charlotte?" He spoke first. He had on a big dark green coat which swallowed him up and made him look tiny. He paired the coat with a pair of black jeans and his usual white trainers. He had a guitar case on his back so he must've been returning from a show.

"What are you doing out here?" I said emotionlessly.

"I could say the same for you." When I remained completely silent whilst frowning at him. Alex swallowed before speaking again. "Returning from a rehearsal...in Neepsend. We found ourselves a studio."

I nodded and a small smile tugged at my lips but I forced it down. I guess it's my turn to answer. "I was...I was going to see you. But I'm lost now because this shithole looks completely different in the night time than in the day time and I'm just so fucking stressed right now I shouldn't even be out-" I stopped to gulp a huge breath as tears started to stream down my cheeks.

"Lottie..." Alex sighed quietly as he slowly approached me and hugged me, holding my head against his chest.

I wrapped my arms around him and cried loudly against him. I hadn't cried in a long time. I didn't even cry when I found out about Johanna so I just let my tears and sobs flow freely.

Alex started to rock us gently from side to side and I slowly started to calm down. He started to hum a tune I hadn't heard before so I inquired what it was. "It's The Smiths love." Alex whispered quietly making me simply nod in response as we stood in each other's arms.

"Are you going home?" I whispered.

"Yep...are you coming?" He asked, almost hopefully.

"I...I packed an overnight bag...I-is it ok if I stay round? I-I don't really want t-"

"Yes Charlotte. Why would I ever say no. I mean... I do owe you it."

"You owe me a lot more than a sleepover Alex." I mumbled.

I felt him nod and mutter something to himself as he slowly unraveled his arms from around me. "Let's make our way then." He smiled warmly.

I frowned and looked away from him as I waited for him to walk in the right direction. Alex took the hint and lead me as the whole journey I trailed behind - but not too far behind.

*****

"Mum! I'm 'ome!" Alex called loudly.

"Ooh! So how did it... Charlotte!" Penny Turner grinned at me and quickly enveloped me into a tight hug.

I couldn't help but smile as I hugged her back but with only half the strength. "Good Evening Mrs Turner." I said quietly.

"What brings you back here, pet?" Penny smiled at me but I could've sworn she shot Alex the dirtiest look I've seen in the last decade.

"I...I just wanted to talk to Alex. Is it ok if I um... sleep 'round?" I spoke sheepishly and the words tumbled out of my mouth unsurely.

"Of course it's fine darling! D'you want the guest room?" Her smile was the best and most reassuring thing about this whole fiasco.

"Um...yes please....thank you Mrs Turner." I nodded awkwardly and tried not to look at Alex.

"It's no problem sweet. I'll go and set it up now." She nodded at me with a smile and once again sent daggers at Alex before hurrying up the stairs.

I took my shoes off without a word and didn't look at Alex all the way to his room as I sat on the ground with my bag in my lap and stared down at the floor.

Alex sat down opposite me and memories started flashing through my mind.

"Charlotte... I just want to start off by saying...I'm an idiot."

"At least you got that right."

"Honestly...I'm so sorry. When you were gone for that month I felt so alone again and I had to fill that hole but now I realise just how much of a twat I was being." Alex spoke softly.

I sighed and shook my head before running my hands through my hair. "So... not once did you think how what you did would make me feel?"

"I...I thought I could hide it."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes before getting up.

"No no no no Charlotte please! I'm sorry!" Alex jumped to his feet and grabbed my wrists, watching my face with an air of desperation.

"So not once did you think "Oh, I'm with another girl right now, wonder how this will make Charlotte feel." Of course you didn't. Because no one ever cares about what Charlotte feels. Not even my own fucking parents." I yanked my hands out of his grip and turned around as I began crying quietly into my hands.

I felt Alex slowly move to me until he was hugging me from behind with his arms around my waist. "Charlotte... you can talk to me... darling." His breath was hot in my ear and made the hairs on my neck stand up but I did my best to ignore the sensation.

"I was fucking fifteen Alex.... fifteen and my own fucking parents just..." I couldn't carry on as I sobbed into my hands.

"Let it out darling. I'm listening." Alex whispered

"I...I just came home from school... It... the weather was amazing... one of the best days of the year. I... spent that afternoon in the garden playing games with my dad whilst my mum was inside preparing our dinner... we went in as the sun began to set... it was a beautiful day... and... they just said it at the table... we're going away for two years... you're moving to Sheffield..." I burst into another chorus of tears and felt as Alex tightened his hold around me and pulled me into him as he rest his chin on my shoulder.