Fallen Stars | A 김태형 Centric | ✓

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Seokjin flipped the first page and started reading.

Diary,
It was hard today. We had a dance practice and I tripped cause of something. Hoseok hyung got soo angry, he punched me hard and it is still hurting. How will I practice tomorrow.

***

Dairy,
I badly need pain killers right now. My legs are burning from pure lactic and my back is hurting from the kick I recieved. It hurts, I really does.

***

Dairy,
I was crying so much today. Right now actually, All the members said that I am worthless and annoying. Am I really that bad ??

***

Dairy,
Today I skipped all my meals. One reason was that I had no food and other that the members told me I am fat. So yeah...

***

Diary,
Today I asked Seokjin hyung for some pain killers. And he said he didn't had any, But I saw him giving some to Jungkook. But maybe Jungkook needed them more than I did.

***

Diary,
It hurts. My body is badly bruised right now. The members had beaten me up so badly. Just because I broke a vase....But it was Namjoon Hyung who did that and blamed me. And I pathetic didn't said anything. Just took the blows.

***

Diary,
Normal routine. Get up. No breakfast. Practice. Get beaten up cause you made a microscopic mistake. Travel back home alone. Get lunch on your own. Enter the dorm. Get a punch in the gut cause you didn't nothing or maybe something I didn't knew about. Go up to your room. Cry alone. No dinner. Kicks for existing in the world. Wash the dishes. Go to your room. Tend your wounds. Sleep with nightmares. And the loop repeats.

***

Diary,
I am wondering that what is the point of living ?? I kinda now miss V cause he atleast was there when no on was.

***

Diary,
Where did it all went wrong ??

***

Diary,
Why does it feels like I am fading away? Like I am there but no one wants me. Like I am a pebble on the road. Which exists but no one bothers to look at.

***

Diary,
I always wondered that how does pain feels like. I experienced it once but it was too minor. The bullying and stuff. But now that I look at it..All I want it the pain gone but it stubbornly stays.

***

Diary,
Their hate doesn't bothers me anymore. You know what hurts more. It is that Now I have reached that point where even if someone hurts me so much, all that comes of my mouth is 'It's okay'

He closed the notebook cause he had no more guts to read ahead. Tears came rolling down his cheeks as he hugged the notebook close to his chest.

Pain, was am Seokjin as feeling right now. All the dark memories were flashing in his mind.

FLASHBACK

Seokjin murmured a 'pathetic' before placing a another kick in the younger's gut. Taehyung had his teeth clenched to hold back the screams of immense pain.

Seokjin was able to see the blood that had started to seep out from Taehyung's shirt. But staying like a arrogant shit, Seokjin just bend down and grabbed Taehyung's hair in his fist to make him look up in his eyes.

"That was my favourite vase..What were you thinking when you broke it?" Seokjin snarled. Taehyung mumbled a 'sorry' and Seokjin smacked the younger's head against the floor.

A groan escaped his lips and he curled into a ball. His instincts had taken over and his body wanted to protect itself from the blows that came raining down again on the younger.

The members grunted and fixed their outfits before leaving the house to take fresh air.

Seokjin denied coming and went to his room, leaving behind Taehyung in the mist of broken glass shreds.

After some moment he heard shuffling outside his room. Seokjin thought the members had returned. He went to open the door and saw Taehyung.

Blood was dripping out from his hand and lips and soaking his shirt. Taehyung lifted his eyes to see Seokjin.

"I-I am S-So S-Sorry" I stuttered as his body hunched over,"I will c-clean it"

He dragged his feet to his room and shut the door close. Seokjin just stood there and gazed at the blood drops on the floor.

Crimson red.

He tip-toed to Taehyung's room and opened the door. The room was empty but the faucet in the washroom was running and the door was slightly ajar.

Seokjin peeked through it and saw Taehyung sitting cross-legged on the floor and biting his lip hard to contain the scream.

Seokjin was safe from the vision of the younger. So, he stood there and watched.

Taehyung opened his fist and gazed at the red blood that coated his skin. In the middle of his palm was a white shred of the vase. Taehyung wrapped his fingers around the piece and pulled it out with a single jerk.

He couldn't retain atleast the sob of pain in himself. More blood poured out but Taehyung didn't treated it further. He removed his shirt, revealing a sun-kissed chest which was coated with various old and new bruises.

At Taehyung's side was another shred. He pulled it out too and bit down his lip to hold the scream. Tired and wounded, Taehyung leaned it back against the wall of the bathroom and closed his eyes.

His breaths were hollow and the blood soon stopped flowing. Tears of pain streamed down his honey-brown eyes and he sobs softly, covering his mouth it he got louder.

Seokjin stood there in pure shock as he watched the stream of blood going down from his hand to the drain.

He went back.

END OF FLASHBACK

Only if Seokjin had stopped there.

Only if he had hugged the younger.

Only if he had stayed by his side.

Only if he had tented his wounds.

Only if he had been there.

But it was useless.

Cause Seokjin had lost his chances of 'Only if' and all now left was 'if'.

If he ever came back.