"you should've told me."
"i couldn't."
"i would've helped."
"you couldn't have,
you still can't."
-
i wrote this book when i was younger and was going through some stuff, so needless to say, it's shitty and cringey sorry ?
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your pov it's not like i'm afraid of going back to school. if anything i feel relieved. for five years now i've been homeschooled. and now, suddenly, i'd be back.
after it all happened, after he died, mom went crazy. i didn't blame her for his death. but i do blame her for everything afterwards. how could i not? she didn't have to marry todd, she didn't have to take me out of school. it's not like she cares what happens to me anyways.
she's proven she doesn't multiple times over.
what i am scared about, is that i'm coming back in the middle of the school year. i'm scared of what the other kids will say about me, what rumours they've heard since i left five years ago. i'm afraid of not having any friends.
it's not like i have any now, but when i went to public school all those years ago, i had friends. we were the outcasts, we were victims of bullies. but we took care of each other. they were all so good to me, back when we were little.
one boy in particular, stanley uris to be exact, was my best friend. we did everything together, i was his partner in crime and he was mine. i lost touch with him after everything happened. i lost touch with the rest of them, everyone.
mom didn't want me hanging around any other children, not wanting me to get hurt even more. but she wasn't in her right mind to make that decision, god, she still isn't in her right mind. with all the crap with todd, how she does nothing about it, i always wonder how she let him treat us the way he does.
hell, the only reason i'm getting sent back to public school is because todd wants mom to make more income, and when todd wants something, he gets it.
so here i am, in the passenger seat of todd's car, mom off early at her new job. todd decided to drop me off on my first day, not because he cares, but because he doesn't need anyone thinking he's anything but a caring "father" figure.
i watch as we pull into the school parking lot, kids my age running around, talking, doing whatever the hell they feel before the bell rings and they'll have to go in. never thought i'd be one of those kids again.
well, i wouldn't consider myself a kid. after all this shit, i've cared for myself. yeah, mom is my legal guardian and todd is my step dad, but they don't give two shits about me. i have to grow up before i even get a full childhood.
as todd pulled into a parking spot, i flattened out my skirt before slinging my bag onto my back.
"hurry up, get out! i gotta get to work!" todd's voice boomed through my ears. i nodded at him, and right as i reached for the door handle, todd grabbed my arm, forcing me backwards.
