"Do you need anything Stella? Me, Michael and Ashton are going out for some Chinese. Calum wants to stay home though because everytime we go to the resturant the waiter asks him what part of Asia he is from..." Luke calls to me through the door. I havn't been out of my room for about two days, since my mom left. I have kinda just sat in my room and stared at the wall, slept, and showered. I just can't face those boys after what happened.
I am so embarassed and sad now. There is not really anything I can say to them about it other than apoligize profulsly for everything that my mom said. She was so unkind to them. They didnt deserve any of that.
They were always there for me when I was hurting or when I was sad. when I refused to tell them what happened they wouldnt push me. They would only listen to me and hold me when that was all that I needed. She has no right at all to do that.
At the thought of their hurt feelings playing out across their faces, I break down again and cry into my pillows. I stop when I hear some music. Well, not music as much as singing. I recognise Calum's voice.
My hear leaps at the lyrics of one of my many favorite songs. A small smile spreads across my lips as I listen to him singing to me.
"Strange maze, what is this place?
I hear voices over my shoulder,
Nothing's making sense at all.
Wonder, why do we race?
When everyday we're runnin' in circles,
Such a funny way to fall.
Tried to open up my eyes,
I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright."
I take a step towards my door and open it. Calum is sitting there, across from it, with his back up against the wall. Just singing to me. He smiles as I emerge from my hiding place. He knew I just couldnt resist music.
"When I wake up,
The dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face,
And know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you, woah."
I sit next to him on the floor and watch him as he sings. He takes my hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. I am surprised when the other boys come around the cornor and join us. Michael does have a mouth full of Chinese takeout though. They crowd around us and join our little singing session.
"Show my cards,
Gave you my heart,
Wish we could start all over.
Nothing's makin' sense at all.
Tried to open up my eyes,
I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright.
When I wake up,
The dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face,
And know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you,
I am still painting flowers for you.
I heard everything you said,
I don't wanna lose my head,
When I wake up,
The dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face,
And know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you,
I am still painting flowers for you,
I am still painting flowers for you."
We all are singing now and smiling at one another. I feel comforted now and safe. I begin to cry right there. They all gather around me like i am a little lost puppy.
"What is it Stella?" Ashton asks me. He and the boys look so concerned. I sigh..
"I am just so sorry for what my mom said to you guys. She had no right to do that. No right. You all were there for me when she wasnt. I am so so so sorry if she said something to hurt any of you amazing boys. I love you all so fucking much." I smile through my falling tears at those boys.
"Hey, do you know what I had for lunch today?" Luke asks suddenly. I am confused now.
"Oh yeah I do." Calum smiles.
"I think it was a..." Ashton trails off and eyes Michael.
"STELLA SANDWHICH" Michael screams as the all pull me into a giant group hug. I am laughing harder than ever by now.
"I so could use a sandwhich actually." I laugh, realizing I havnt eaten in like two days.
"We have something better than sandwhiches." Luke smiles as we all make our way into the kitchen."
"Chinese!" I yell as I dig through the bags of food. As I begin to fill my plate I hear Ashton ask Calum something.
"Hey Cal, can you tell me how this dish is prepared in your homeland?" Ash chuckles as do the rest of the boys.
"Fuck you, you wang chung." Calum says as he shoves some rice into his mouth.
Gosh I love these boys.
