His Queen

Goddess

It was very late at night but you could not sleep. If you did then only nightmares would plague your sleep. In these nightmares you see Ingrid die over and over again while you stand there helpless. So you rather stay awake to the brink of exhaustion than watch your greatest fear happen even if it is just a dream. Not even laying in bed with Ivar as he holds you close helps rid of the nightmare. 

You sit in Ingrid's throne, eyes fixated on the fire burning in the hearth. The Great Hall is silent just how you like it. Hearing all the guests apologize these past days has exhausted you. You were tired of everyone treating you so delicately. You had enough. Now you are alone with your thoughts, now you have room to breath.

But the silence is broken by the familiar sound of hands hitting the floor and a body being dragged along. Looking away from the fire you see Ivar crawling towards you. His tunic is not tucked into his sleeping trousers and his hair hangs loose down to his shoulders.

"Y/N, why are you still awake?" He asks you, situating himself until he is sitting at your feet.

You sniffle wiping a tear that has fallen. "I am not tired. Don't worry about me, Ivar. You should rest you need it."

Ivar shakes his head. "I will sleep when you do. I cannot stand the thought of you being upset."

His words cause to cry more. Damn this man, he knows just what to say to you. You try to look away as you cry. The tears fall too quickly causing you to fail to wipe them away. Ivar moves so he is sitting up on his knees, chest leaning against your legs. His hand rests on your thigh. You meet his gaze, tears still falling.

"Please, do not cry. A woman like you should never cry. You are a goddess, Y/N. You only deserve to smile and feel happiness. I wish there was something I could do." Ivar comforts you. Inhaling sharply, you place your hand on top of his.

"Having you here makes me happy. You have done all that you can. I promise I will be okay." You reassure him, forcing yourself to smile through the tears. 

"At least come to bed and allow me to help you fall back asleep. I will not be able to sleep knowing you are in here alone." Ivar kisses your knuckles before shifting so he is able to crawl again. 

Unable to deny him, you stand from Ingrid's throne and follow him back to your room. Laying under the furs, your body catches up from the lack sleep over the past few evenings. Your eyes become heavy. Ivar pulls you close, his fingers running through your hair and you relax under his embrace. Soon you are able to fall asleep and no nightmare plagues you. Instead Ingrid visits you in your dream. 

You stand at the edge of the cliff that overlooks Asmund's Earldom. The sun shines brightly in the clear, blue sky. There is not a single cloud in the sky. A gentle breeze blows the hem of your dress, you watch as it dances with the blades of grass. Breathing in the fresh air, you exhale with a wide smile. Behind you a woman clears her throat. Looking over your shoulder you see Ingrid standing there, her arms open wide inviting you in for a hug. You hush to her, wrapping your arms so tightly around Ingrid's body. She feels so real, so alive. The sickness no longer riddles her. Color has returned to her face, her cheeks even warm as you hug her.

"Mother. I miss you so much." You cry against Ingrid's chest. But these are not sad tears. No. They are tears of joy. 

Ingrid pulls you away from the hug so she is able to look into your eyes. Hers have the same twinkle in them as you remember. 

"I miss you, also, my darling. But do not worry. I am with you always. I am always looking over you from Valhalla. I know you grieve over me and also Aslaug but you must hear these words. You are human. You are not weak for feeling things. So get angry; make people regret for ever wronging you. Be happy; smile so bright that the sun is jealous. Feel sad; crack, crumble, cry until your heart is no longer heavy. Never let this cruel world steal your spark." Ingrid speaks passionately so you hear her words clearly.