028
Having sweet, sweet death
injected into your veins;
feeling it zoom menacingly
under your skin
like a delayed sugar rush
wasn’t something I expected to be
entirely pleasant,
but I still wasn’t prepared
for pain like this.
It’s the after affects
that hurt the most.
At first you’re still flying
(just a little bit)
on that cold metal hospital bed,
but then everything is black
and you’re so, so
afraid.
You’re in a cave
and the spiders are bigger than you
and your demons are
ding dong ditching
your shoulder
(they want you to
squirm)
and you keep tripping over
dead rocks
that are nibbling on the base
of your toes
and you feel like
a teenager again.
All of those things scared me
the most
but the worst part
was when I rose back
to the surface;
when I broke through the
1 inch layer of black ice
and took that one deep breath.
Things are scarier on the surface.
The nurses were holding me down
and I was convulsing like a monster.
I wasn’t myself.
I was worse.
