Flawed Perception

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I sat on the curb in the dark and waited. I had half a mind Jeremy wouldn't come, despite caving in to my request and saying he would. Every time a pair of car lights came into view my heart jumped, only to be disappointed. After nearly an hour I stood up, feeling dejected, and readied myself to go inside. It was then that I saw one last set of headlights that grew nearer and nearer. I smiled to myself, no need to fake it today, my joy was real. He killed the engine and opened the door.

"Well, I'm here," he told me curtly as he closed the car door. It was dark but I could see his eyes piercing at me, vibrant and beautiful as usual.

"Thank god." My voice was shaky with the relief I felt. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. His body was stiff, not welcoming at all. "Thank you for being here, for being you."

"No problem." As he spoke I felt his cold façade melt and he folded himself around me. I was on my tippy toes, allowing him to support me in his arms. Never had I felt more secure. I was sure now that this was what I needed, at least for now.

"God I missed you." He whispered into my hair.

"I know, I missed you too." I sighed. Content was a word that didn't even begin to explain how I felt in that moment. The feeling I had was paradisiacal. No need for swing sets or days at the beach, he was my escape.

"I'm sorry, about all the questions and everything," I told him softly. I nestled my face in his chest, taking in his smell and the comfort it provided.

"Let's just forget that night happened. Okay?" I nodded. We stayed motionless in our silent embrace for a bit, just being together. We were in our own world for only a moment, accompanied only by the sound of each other breathing. It was everything I needed. I didn't want it to end, but it did when he began to speak again.

"So, what's going on here?" he asked as he let me down gently. He motioned toward the apartment, in which the small party was still bustling.

"Andy's home."

"Really?" Jeremy's eyes lit up. "Why didn't you tell me he was coming home?"

"I don't know. I've been feeling really bad about what happened the last time we saw each other." I looked down at my feet. "I didn't think you'd want to hear from me after how much I upset you."

"Hey," he said, he pulled my chin up with his hand. "No matter what, I'll always come when you call. I promised, remember?" He smiled down at me, my favorite smile, and I returned it with my own.

"Do you want to go inside and see him?" I asked.

"Of course, I haven't seen him in weeks, not since I visited him in the ICU." This piqued my interest. I was at the hospital nearly every day visiting when I could, I didn't see Jeremy once.

"Wait, you saw him?"

"Yeah, a few times. I felt kind of bad about everything that happened, since it was my party and all. I was feeling pretty down back then," he answered.

"Was this why you've been so upset all this time? Guilt?" I blurted out without thinking. I froze in fear that he might get angry again at me for mentioning it.

"A little bit, yeah. I felt like I should have been paying more attention or something, you know." Luckily, what I asked didn't faze him.

"Jer, Andy was a ticking time-bomb, if it didn't happen then it would have happened later. It's good that I was around to call 911, if he was alone when he OD'd who knows what could have happened." This seemed to have done very little to appease his guilt. I brought my hands up and cupped his cheeks, holding his face gently. "None of this was your fault, okay?"