Flawed Perception

Chapter 17

Chapter 17 

The second the door was shut I closed my eyes and stood in silence, taking it all in. I was right when I said I needed time to think, just how much time was the mystery. Thinking about Nick still filled me with butterflies, but it also caused a pang of emotion that I wasn't sure I wanted to feel again. At that moment, I honestly had no clue what was going to happen to us. 

As soon as I collected myself I took out my phone, holding the blank black screen as a mirror in front of me to see the damage the tears had done. I looked like hell, but I was good at hiding it. I put my phone back in my pocket and used the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my face as I walked down the stairs to Jeremy's car. Before opening the door I took a deep breath and readied my finest smile. 

"Hey, thanks for picking me up," I told him enthusiastically. I leaned back to grab my seatbelt, hiding my face in the process. I hoped he didn't notice, but Jeremy always saw through my act. 

"Willa?" I didn't answer. I stared out the window, hoping he would just give up and drive. "Willa, look at me." 

"Can we go somewhere?" I once again tried my best to sound chipper. The more I tried, however, the worse I was beginning to feel. I could feel them again, the raw painful and conflicting emotions, as they built up inside of me.  

"What's going on with you? Every time we meet, I get the feeling that you're going through some really bad stuff, more than what you've told me." His concern was comforting and upsetting all at once. As much as I wanted to use that comfort to my advantage and pretend everything was all right, I knew I had to say something, he deserved that much. 

"It's everything, Jeremy. Andy, my mom, Nick, life, all of it. I feel like my head and my heart are about to burst and there's nothing I can do about any of it." In that moment I blurted out my frustration to the most innocent of bystanders. I looked over to him. His eyebrows were furrowed in sympathy, his gaze deep in thought as he listened to my flood of frustration. "I just feel so... lost. Like everything I thought was wrong." 

"Thought about what?" His question was simple enough, but even I didn't know the answer. I confessed a plethora of my feelings and problems without tell him anything really, and yet I still couldn't pin point why I felt the way I did. I began to feel this way after Andy told me why he turned out the way he did, maybe it was guilt, or just plain confusion. 

"Everything," I sighed.  

"It seems you've got a lot going on," he pointed out. I nodded slightly. "You know I've got ears, right? And I've been told they're pretty good at listening." I looked to him once again, he was grinning slightly, resulting in the same expression from me. 

"Thanks, Jer. I'll have to take you up on that offer sometime soon. God knows I could use someone to talk to." 

"Anytime. Just call me and I will always be around, okay?" I nodded. "So, where to madam?" 

"Anywhere, just not here," I instructed. 

"Okay, anywhere it is!" I giggled at his silliness, making my heart a bit lighter than before. Then he drove toward the exit. 

It turned out "anywhere" was really Betty's, the twenty-four hour diner across town, but I didn't complain. I was fine as long as I was away from my problems. Betty's Diner was a place I used to love going to, especially with my dad. He would buy me a milkshake and we would sit in the only corner booth. We'd see who could drink their shake the fastest. He was an adult so he could have easily taken a victory, but he let me win every time.  

When we walked in a small breeze passed my nose and I caught a whiff of what can only be described as nostalgia. It probably smelled of grease and baked goods to some, but it smelled like memories to me. I couldn't help but sneak in a small smile.